Date: March 11, 2022
Arena: Hertz Arena
City: Fort Myers, Florida

It’s Saturday morning, and you know what that means… it’s time for our Rampage Review!

Still in Revolution’s afterglow following an up and down Dynamite comes Rampage. (And btw, what a special night Sunday was, the matches were good and all, but 9/9 predictions! (assuming Rosa wins in San Antonio next week.))

And on seeing this week’s lineup, there was only one question to be asked: Tony Khan wants this cancelled right? He’s got ROH now, all the sports stuff, he just doesn’t have time for Rampage. A show full of squashes with only one bona fide star (Darby) in action.

DARBY ALLIN (W/ STING) VS MARC QUEN (W/ ISIAH)

Story going in: Allin interfered in the AFO’s beatdown of Matt Hardy on Dynamite.

This week’s opener had a lot to live up to, following two weeks of exceptional TNT title matches.

Surprisingly, this one was dominated by Marc Quen, the story being Darby trying to keep his opponent grounded with head and face locks. Meaning that this one was slower than you’d think – stomps, shoulders in the corner and an abdominal stretch as Quen controlled the pace.

After the ads, the ‘strange enigma’ hit a super-plex for two before yielding control once more as the Private Party-er got consecutive two-counts of his own, one following a backflip kneedrop.

‘Let’s go Darby’ chants flooded the air as he turned a suplex attempt into his mentor’s Scorpion Death Drop before Isiah prevented Allin from a Coffin Drop. For which Sting made him pay. But not before Quen took advantage, shoving his opponent to the floor and launching an insane 450 from the top-rope to the outside. You could feel that one for both guys.

Back inside, Quen attempted a shooting star, Darby saw it coming, Fujiwara armbar, tap-out.

Post-match, the AFO came out, followed by the reunited ‘Hardys’ (get the Z out!) who again locked eyes with Allin and Sting. Trouble’s brewing. Matt and Jeff were dressed for the millennium but got a huge pop.

Side-note, is putting Sting and Jeff Hardy back in the ring such a great idea? Is Sting cool with it at his age?

WINNER: DARBY ALLIN

Next, Dan Lambert and the Men of the Year gave us a history lesson, comparing Wardlow/MJF with Larry Zbysko/Bruno Sammartino. Page claimed that Scorpio was still defending two belts when he faces ‘Wardog’ on Wednesday: his streak and his TNT title (Scorpio hasn’t lost in over a year and gave one of his two TNT belts to Lambert). The champ called himself the ‘face of TNT’.

Short and effective.

Which was also applicable to the House of Black’s latest offering: shot in the usual way, with only Malakai visible at first before each member stepped forward as they spoke, finishing each other’s sentences as though one voice. Ominously, the trio talked of ‘guilt’, ‘mak(ing) your eyes turn black again’, ‘know(ing) your secrets and ‘know(ing) your truth’.

Excalibur speculated as to their victim as we returned to the ring.

JAMIE HAYTER (W/ BRITT & REBEL) VS MERCEDES MARTINEZ

Story going in: Allies of Britt Baker & Thunder Rosa prior to the title match on next week’s Dynamite.

If there was a any doubting the purpose of this, the commentators made it quite clear from the get-go. Completely ignoring the action, they plugged the Rosa/Baker match with even Starks acknowledging that the cage would ensure a fair fight.

Which was a shame as this was a hard-hitting effort. After a test of strength, Martinez unloaded in the corner to wake the crowd.

Back from break, Mercedes was in control with a series of impressive low-trajectory underhook suplexes for two. Firing back, Hayter countered a fisherman buster with a ura-nage across the knee for a two of her own. Back on their feet, they exchanged strikes before colliding off the ropes as the ref started a double count.

Recovering more quickly, Mercedes flung Hayter into the buckle with an overhead throw. After a B-RUTAL Spider Suplex from the top, Mercedes had the match won but was struck three times by Baker prior to a Hayter lariat for the win. Mercedes looked good here, but that finish did her no favours, very weak.

In the aftermath, Britt and co. hovered menacingly, only to be repelled by Rosa.

WINNER: JAMIE HAYTER

A quick Shida voice-over preceded the next match. She hasn’t forgotten Serena. Not when she was in the hospital, not when she was rehabbing… before threatening to ‘cut your head off.’

QT MARSHALL (W/ SOLOW & COMOROTO) VS KEITH LEE

Story going in: Marshall was spurned by Lee on Dynamite after offering help vs Team Taz.

This was short and still too long. QT kept getting bits of offense in only for Lee to shrug it off. ‘Limitless’ was very popular with the crowd.

Ricky Starks was great here. He claimed Hobbs could throw further (which Taz backed up), then asked ‘Who’s this ref? He’s not counting quick enough’ when Lee kicked out of a pin attempt before one.

Eventually, Lee shook off an enzuigiri, blocked a Diamond Cutter, and scooped up QT for a DVD into a powerslam for the 1,2,3.

There wasn’t much to this.

As the match began, Excalibur noted the presence of Will Hobbs at the commentary booth. You could see what was coming.

Jumped by Aaron Solo and Nick Comoroto, Lee fought them off, only to be levelled by Ricky Starks and a ‘PPP-Powerhouse’ spinebuster, before the pair mocked Lee’s pose. Seems we’re getting a battle of the ‘hoss’es.

WINNER: KEITH LEE

SHANE ‘SWERVE’ STRICKLAND VS TONY NESE

Story going in: A jealous Nese interrupted Strickland’s interview on Dynamite and made the challenge.

Whose house? If Strickland needed any help reinforcing his charisma, they picked the perfect opponent. Fortunately, Nese excels in other areas. Though in fairness his pre-match promo was pretty good. And this was a good main event.

So, the story here was that Nese is irritated by the acclaim Strickland’s receiving. Naturally, the chants of ‘Swerve’s House’ drove him to the top rope to scream the contrary. Prompting Taz to deadpan, ‘it’s Tony’s house dammit… kinda, cheque please.’

And Nese’s irritation grew as the match went, making him more aggressive, making it easier for Strickland to see what was coming, and so on and so on.

Beginning on the mat, the pace quickened with Swerve evading and striking with an array of unorthodox moves, leading to Nese pulling the rope down to try and send him crashing to the outside. Smoothly, the recent signee simply performed a handstand from inside the ring, landing perfectly on the outside. Which only incensed Nese further.

Strickland was always a step ahead, and it continued like this until late in the match.

After the last ad-break, the two threw-hands on the mat and then up onto their feet. Swerve got the best of this too, until being caught with an uppercut to the throat and then ‘necked’ across the top rope. It didn’t last though, Nese missing a moonsault before being struck with strikes and chops, a flying elbow to the back of the head and a brainbuster for a close two.

More back and forth than you might expect towards the end, the action continued with Nese gaining a two and then very-close-to three-count with a 450 from the top.

Finally though, Strickland put his opponent away for good. Beginning with Nese hanging precariously from the apron, Swerve hit a double foot-stomp from the apron to the floor, then a heel kick to the head, before another foot-stomp, this time from the top, sealed the deal.

Strickland has everything necessary to be a big star: cool, catchy entrance music; presence; swagger – he carries himself like he’s a big deal. Could’ve probably done with beating someone that fans remembered was on the roster.

WINNER: SWERVE STRICKLAND

All in all, a very easy, fun hour of wrestling. Albeit with few things you had to see to keep up with main storylines.

GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO WATCH…

• Strickland. Charismatic, confident and unique in the ring.
• Quick mention for the commentary. Taz, Excalibur and Starks were excellent. We need more of them, particularly Taz. Hopefully, Jericho’s busy with his new faction.

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend!