Arena: Fertitta Center
City: Houston, Tx

It’s Saturday morning, and you know what that means…  it’s time for our Rampage Review!

H.O.B. vs Evil Uno, Ten & Fuego del Sol

Backstory: Fuego has a death wish, keeps calling out the House

If you had an appearance by the Dark Order or Fuego on your ‘non-prime-time Rampage’ bingo card, take a drink.  Or ‘whatever your vice is’, as Jay-Z once rapped.  It is the weekend.

We began with Uno repeatedly flinging himself at Brody, to little effect, before Malakai entered with stiff kicks to the stomach.  Uno tagged in 10, the pair doubled up on Black until an overhead belly to belly brought an early 2 count.

Fuego tagged himself in but was greeted by an armdrag from Black and a vicious elbow to the face as he rebounded off the ropes.  Matthews came in next, mimicking ‘zero miedo’ before snapping back on the arm.  Desperate, del Sol tagged Uno back in but Malakai did the same to Brody, who hit a senton before stereo kicks from the other two H.O.B. members.  Forcing Fuego back in, who was immediately squashed to the outside via a Brody body block.

Back from the break, Fuego landed a standing Spanish fly to Matthews, leading to double tags: 10 and Malakai.  With Brody sent to the floor, the Dark Order followed up with a double-team slingshot wheelbarrow suplex and then a cannonball senton to the outside by Uno.

After kicking out of a pin attempt by 10, Malakai fought out into a rolling knee bar but Uno broke it up, distracting Black, allowing Vance to land a discus lariat.  After a tag to Brody, Malakai and Matthews took care of Fuego and 10 with a moonsault and DDT respectively on the outside, before Brody struck with a huge lariat and a Gonzo Bomb for the win.

A breathless, non-stop opener with the right outcome.

Afterward, Death Triangle came out with a tombstone which had House of Black written on it along with Double or Nothing.

WINNER: The House of Black

Lexi w/ Gunn Club & Max Castor.  Even Castor called Billy ‘daddy’ and received the reply ‘son’.  Clip aired of Bowens injury on Dark.  When he’s back, Billy said they’d have a ‘big ol’ scissor party’.  Essentially, Billy prefers Castor and Co. to his own kids.

FTR were with Tony, responding to Roppongi Vice’s challenge, which they accepted because they also wanted the IWGP belts.  Dax said Trent and co. like to make a joke of everything, but promised they wouldn’t make a joke of them on Wednesday.

Shawn Spears vs Big Damo

Backstory: Spears is a ‘giant killer’, so he’s facing a giant, the former Killian Dane

Spears’ offense had little impact at the outset, Damo slamming and squashing Spears before missing with a vader bomb.  Spears yelled ‘Wardlow’ as he hit the C4.

Spears said his match with Wardlow was the main event on Wed.  Good God.

Just don’t see the point of these matches.  Not a single, solitary person believes Spears is beating Wardlow because of this.  This is vital TV time that could’ve been better served by say, a Swerve Scott promo.

WINNER: Spears

Cutler was with the UE.  Cole put over O’Reilly, they talked about what an honor it’d be to face-off in the final of the Owen.  Bucks challenged the Hardys to a ‘dream match’.  I’ll keep on sleeping given Jeff’s latest offerings.  Maybe ten years ago.

Kris Statlander vs Red Velvet, OH

Backstory: Former friends face off in the Owen tourney

Ruby Soho joined the guys on comms.  Said she couldn’t wait to see Eddie beat Jericho at the PPV.

Statlander pressed Velvet with one arm before dropping her to the mat to start with a bang.  Highlighting her strength advantage.

Velvet then showed her edge athletically with a kind-of headscissors.  She then received the Sports Entertainer of the Week, because someone has to, as the ads arrived.

A vicious knee welcomed us back before a huge wheelbarrow/German suplex earned Kris a near fall.  Countering a suplex, Velvet hit the Final Slice but couldn’t get the win as Excalibur said he couldn’t remember the last time anyone kicked out of it.

Close counts followed by both, including a blue thunder bomb by Kris.  Statlander caught a kick, hoisting Velvet up for the Big Bang Theory but Red countered into a roll-up until Stat countered the counter with a roll-up of her own to advance.

Short, but what we saw was really good.

After her loss, Velvet and the Baddies beat down both Statlander and Soho (who tried to make the save) until Anna Jay ran them off using Smart Mark’s crutch.

WINNER: Statlander

A workout video was shown involving Hook and Danhausen/Nese/Sterling.  Essentially, Hook/Nese were working-out hard, their partners were not.  Nothing special.

Sammy and Tay did such an amazing job turning themselves heel, if only they’d intended it.  Mid-ring, Ethan Page called Sammy a ‘piece of trash’ to loud cheers from the fans in Guevara’s hometown.  Sammy appeared on the screen with Tay, still wants the mixed tag match.  Even Kazarian was booed for having the temerity to associate with Guevara.  He and Sammy smashed the TNT title (presumably the spare?) with a sledgehammer.  Talk about a metaphor.

Tony w/ Storm/Britt.  Toni said she’d rearrange Britt’s teeth and be ‘her D.M.D.’ if anyone interfered in their match next week.  Baker was left speechless.

On Dynamite:

• Roppongi Vice vs FTR,
• Samoa Joe vs Kyle O’Reilly, OH Semi
• Britt vs Toni, OH Semi
• Punk/Hangman face to face
• Jungle Boy vs Swerve vs Starks in a rare three-way
• Wardlow vs Spears in a cage w MJF as ref

On Rampage:

• Soho vs Statlander, OH Semi

After oh so creatively telling Tony to ‘cut the s***’, Jade challenged Anna Jay at the PPV, Tony Khan must’ve been close by since it was instantly booked.

Matt Sydal & Dante Martin vs Moxley and Daniel Bryan

Backstory: In one of the cringiest promo’s in recent memory, Sydal challenged the BCC to a ‘fight’

Regal joined on comms.  Hager came to watch over Jericho.  Regal and Jericho spent the first minutes of the match bickering.

‘Abandon all hope’ is what Mox told any potential BCC opponents pre-match.  They weren’t just words, he and Danielson striking as the bell rang.  Mox crushed Dante in the corner with clotheslines and got a quick 1 count with a suplex.  Tagging in BD, the vet went to work with a romero special before another quick pin attempt.

Quickly tagging Mox back in, Dante was getting his backside beaten until darting out the way of a shoulder charge, Sydal flying in after the tag, very briefly getting the upper hand until being plucked out of the air and stun-gunned across the ropes, followed by a Danielson diving double knee to the outside as the break came.

When we returned Dante was exploding with a double cross body block to the outside onto both BCC members, followed by another on Danielson back inside for 2.  Sweeping the leg, Danielson hit a double underhook suplex from the top, transitioning into the Lebell Lock.  After fighting for a long time, the youngster finally hooked the ropes with his foot.

Angry kicks from Bryan to the chest came next, until tagging Mox back in but Sydal interrupted, leading to a lightning flurry from the underdogs: double roundhouse, shotgun dropkick, Sydal to the top for a crazy meteora onto Danielson on the apron, Nosedive on Mox, BD saved at the last split-second.  ‘This is awesome!’

Continuing to shine, Dante countered a Paradigm Shift and a Bulldog Choke before heading up top, Mox avoiding the resulting dive and hitting a piledriver for another long 2.  The end in sight, Moxley unleashed hammer and anvil elbows before this time nailing the Paradigm Shift for the victory as Danielson worked over Sydal.

Excellent action.  The BCC boys have the knack of making you believe their opponents can win, even when you know otherwise.  Strange decision to pin the up-and-comer with Sydal right there but Dante did work the majority of the match and despite getting a beating, was also made to look good against two of the company’s biggest stars.

In the aftermath, Jericho and the Jobbers attacked as the show ended mid-brawl.

What we didn’t see was what occurred next with the American Dragon.  Who appeared to legit trap his leg between the ring and the ramp, with reports that he was stuck for ten minutes and visibly annoyed at those trying to help him.  Other reports say this was a storyline injury.

WINNER: Mox and Bryan

Check Out…

• This was a pretty damn good show top to bottom. If you like ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ spotfests, check out the opener.  A little more serious?  Hit the main event.

Thanks for reading.  Have a great weekend!