AEW Collision tonight comes to us from the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, MI.  After last week drawing 467,000 & 0.15 in the 18-49 demo.

Good god we’re gonna get Jericho, Omega & Ibushi vs Takeshita, Sammy & Ospreay aren’t we!?  That heel team’s tasty.

*****

• Darby said he’s not stupid, this is a handicap match, but he’ll win anyway
• Cage said he won’t
• Ricky Starks continues to think that passing out is the same thing as winning, it’s also a very strange way to position a heel
• Danielson said Starks won’t win

Christian Cage ‘vs’ Luchasaurus vs Darby Allin

Backstory: Cage wants rid of Allin but knows he won’t go without a title shot, so offered this – basically a handicap match

Lots of talk of this being a way to get the belt onto Cage.  On one hand, it’s a bigger matchup if he faces Darby 1-on-1 at WrestleDream.  On the other, it’s just more fun him claiming to be the champ without actually being.

No pretending, the heels surrounded Allin in the corner.  Though Cage bailed and left Luchasaurus to do the work.  Allin came prepared – he threw powder at the monster then drilled Cage with his bullet tope.  That moment when we’re reminded triple threats are all no-DQ is never fun.

Code Red to Cage for two, Saurus hit with the tope this time; Allin was snapped across the top rope by Cage as he returned to the ring.  Then tossed around ringside by Luchasaurus.  There were duelling chants here for Cage/Darby and cheers for Cage during the intro promo.

A chair was placed in the ring, Darby placed on it and choked against the ropes by Cage.  Then choked against the chair’s back.  Luchasaurus then German’d him – complete with chair – Cage stopped the cover then tried to steal it himself, Allin kicked out.  Christian flung him out through the ropes, Allin then did a flip over the ring stairs, crashing to the mats as the ads arrived.

Allin avoided a charging Saurus in the corner, Cage readied a spear which missed badly and was rolled up for a pair of two counts.  Allin countered a suplex into a Death Drop, a Coffin Drop was on the way, Saurus pulled Cage out to ‘safety’, Allin turned it into a Coffin Splash to both.

Got his boot up in the corner as Saurus charged again, Cage missed a belt shot, allowing Saurus to chokeslam Darby.  He then picked up his title as the announcers explained this was the first time he’s ever touched it.  Cage tried to take it back, Luchasaurus turned away, Cage tried to reason with him and he eventually handed it over.

Allin shoved Cage into Saurus, belt shot to the champ, count of two.

A running punt followed, Coffin Drop, Cage in to fling Allin outside and pin his own monster.  Plenty of cheers as Aubrey counted three.  Cage hugged Luchasaurus with a big smile, Saurus didn’t look happy.  Nigel claimed that ‘as long as he gets food in his bowl tonight he’ll be fine’.

He again put Cage on his shoulders.  Said it the first time they did this, you can see where it’s going.  He set Cage down safely.  For now…

Nice story telling before a crowd who were into the action.

Winner: Christian Cage

Recap of the Sammy/Jericho angle from Rampage.  Jericho hit the ring to confront Callis and co., Kenny Omega made the save.  To an enormous pop.  The pair later challenged the heels to a trios tag.

Callis and his boys were with Alex Marvez.  Callis said it makes him sick that Jericho and Kenny are teaming against him when he’s the one who built them both.  He re-emphasized how close Omega and Ibushi are.  It makes Kenny ‘weak’.  So as great as Ibushi is, he actually weakens their team.

He put over Sammy and the guy who beat Omega twice in one week – Takeshita (whose facials, body language and etc. continue to shine).  Callis said he has another family member – Will Ospreay.  They’ll ‘finish it once and for all’ at WrestleDream.

*****

Schiavone with Christian and Luchasaurus.  He dedicated his win to Nick Wayne’s parents.  He’s finally finished with Darby.  Tony corrected him – Tony Khan has made Cage vs Allin at WrestleDream, 2/3 falls.  A livid Cage ran off to complain to Khan.

RVD & Hook vs 2.0

Backstory: None

Maybe AEW officials really weren’t aware of Moxley’s concussion Wednesday.  But it’s a bad look to allow RVD – who’s acknowledged his CTE issues – to perform just days later.

He came out to a massive pop.  The announcers talked about him teaming with Taz bitd.  As is becoming a pattern on Saturdays, the stars’ opponents came out to a collective shrug.  With Anna Jay & Jake Hager.

Locals chanting for Van Dam as Hook and Menard set things off.  Menard took Hook down then celebrated.  Hook took him down into a front face lock then wrestled circles round him into another takedown, Menard hit a knee to the gut then ran to tag out.

Hook had his foot grabbed by Jay and Parker stomped him down.  The youngster avoided a splash in the corner, got the tag to Van Dam to another huge pop: armdrag takedown to Menard, Parker attacked from behind, Van Dam blocked a kick, hit a spin kick to Menard, bringing Parker back in, Van Dam hit a front kick to the head and springboard spin kick.

Parker bailed outside, all the heels got together for a convo, Van Dam was about to dive onto them when they split, he did the thumbs instead.

Break.

Hook back in against the heels, he shook them off but was blocked from tagging RVD at the last second.  The youngster snatched Parker into an exploder, crowd desperate for the tag, Hook got it, RVD ran through the heels: lariats, kicks and spin kicks, rolling thunder.  Menard hit from behind, Van Dam slipped behind on a boy slam, notha spin kick, Van Dam about to head up when Anna took the ref, Hager headed in with a chair and ate a Van Daminator.

A very bad looking ‘miscommunication’ then happened, allowing Hook to snatch Paker in Redrum (it’s becoming evident by the week that Kevin Kelly isn’t up on AEW moves), Van Dam hit 5 Stars to Menard.  1, 2, 3.

Like the opener, there was nothing wrong with this.  Crowd loved RVD.  However, back-to-back segments putting over middle-aged veterans needs to be balanced by pushing younger talent.

Van Dam & Hook celebrated.  For a long time.

Winner: RVD & Hook

They replayed Eddie Kingston winning the ROH Title then showed comments from him after Wednesday.  He challenged Katsuyuori Shibata as an homage to Antonio Inoki.  Both titles on the line.

*****

More weird informercial stuff from the Dark Order.  The usual generic Collision package that ticks off the ‘get them on tv’ box.

*****

Cut to the Kingdom who are growing on me by the week.  Taven pointed to a wristband and insisted that ‘Neck health’s important’ (they were both clad in ‘NECK STRONG’ tees).  He called the Best Friends a bunch of fakes.  Because when Trent injured his neck Chuck wasn’t by his side.  They’re going to show them what ‘people who don’t celebrate neck health awareness month deserve’.

Bennett did his wiener punch/piledriver thing like Weds.  And insisted that next week he’s going to have piledrivers for everyone ‘in support of neck health’.  They’ll find out how close and strong the Best Friends really are because ‘you’re damn sure not neck strong’.

Great fun.

Julia Hart vs Kiera Hogan

Backstory: None

Who’d have thought a company would just throw Hart vs Hogan out on free tv?

Julia came out with Big Brody.  We were told – emphasis on told – that she’d attacked Willow backstage earlier this afternoon and spray painted her (yawn).  Must’ve been some hella toxic paint since she’s apparently in hospital.  Supposedly Willow was supposed to be wrestling Julia here so Kiera volunteered to take her place.  Kelly ‘wished we had footage’ of the incident aka ‘we came up with this last-minute’.  Also, Hogan and Willow are friends despite never once being on-screen together.  Got all that?

Hogan went right for Hart, hip attack against the ropes.  Hart slammed her head to the mat then stepped on her hair and stomped her.  Crowd absolutely silent as Julia landed a suplex to some polite applause.  Then fired shots from the mount.  Hogan hit a roundhouse but was tripped via STO.  Julia landed a very nice standing moonsault for two.

Then grabbed a chinlock.  Kiera didn’t want to tap when asked.  She came back with running lariats and a shotgun in the corner.  Julia avoided another, hit a running elbow, kick to the spine and sliding lariat before announcing ‘the House always win’ and tapping Hogan out via Hartless, maintaining the hold a little longer than necessary.

She went back to the hold, getting no heat because fans don’t tend to care about babyfaces they never see.  Skye Blue walked to the ring, Julia hid behind Brody then spray painted her.  King took the mic to say the violence wouldn’t end until getting to Kris Statlander, the only person who’s beaten Hart.

Hart warned her that the ‘House always wins’.  Hart has a lot going for her but needs more seasoning in the ring.  Action was ok.

Overall, this was garbage.  Garbled storytelling which seemed like it was building to Hart vs Willow but then didn’t.  At least the spray paint gimmick is original though right?  We can all agree on that.

Winner: Julia Hart

Footage of the Righteous winning a shot at the ROH Tag Titles last night.  Cut to a weird video of them posing outside among flowers and trees.  ‘We are the corpse of decency nailed to a post of greed and moral decay’ about sums it up.

They are going to ‘expose’ BtYBB.  Dutch laughed, the other guy said ‘Dig what I’m sayin?’ for about the tenth time in sixty seconds.

Jay White vs Andrade El Idolo

Backstory: White challenged Andrade last week after noticing him watching a BCG match

Kelly said these two have ‘been on a collision course for several weeks’.  They have?

Cardblade/Switchboard and all of the gang joined White.  The combination of Andrade’s music and Dasha’s announcing continues to be a winner.  As AEW pushed Hispanic Heritage Month.  Well-timed.

An ‘Ass Boys’ chant broke out before the match did.  White and Andrade talked smack, circled, locked-up – White was driven to the corner.  Rope break.  White took a cheap shot then ducked back between the ropes, Andrade snapped, the ref got in-between.

Andrade headlock and shoulder block, Juice distracted him, allowing White to grab a headlock of his own.  Down to the mat.  Back up, White was whipped, slid through to the outside, avoided a baseball slide but was smacked to the floor with a big chop.

Andrade sent him back in, headed upstairs, diving cross body, snap suplex, another, the third amigo countered as White slipped behind and raked the eyes.  Then went upstairs, Andrade springboarded into a dropkick to knock him outside.  El Idolo right after him, sending him back inside where White kicked out at one.

White avoided a splash in the corner, hit a ddt for two.  Then backed Andrade to the corner with chops before a flurry of shoulder thrusts then more chops.  Andrade hit a big boot, went upstairs, White caught him on his shoulder, Andrade slipped to the apron but was spiked off and against the barricade.

The BCG celebrated on top of him as the ads arrived.

Andrade stuck in a headlock mid-ring, he began to fight up, axe handles to the gut, White slammed his head down against the mat, Andrade rolled him up for a close count (we missed most of it since they keep cutting to the BCG at ringside – it’s very annoying).  White landed a kick to the knee, Andrade crumpled to his knees.  White fired stiff chops, Andrade fired-up, to his feet, beckoning White on, he ducked a big swing, stereo lariats leaving both down.  Crowd clapping.

Ref at five as they clambered up together, yay/boo chops and strikes, heavy hands from Andrade sending White stumbling back to the corner then back center right into a dragon screw.  Another.  Diving lariat and kip-up next, White down in the corner, crowd chanting ‘Idolo’.  The BCG pulled Jay to safety, Andrade took to the skies via spingboard moonsault to nail them all.  ‘Holy Shit’ said the crowd.

Back inside, double-jump moonsault for an oh-so near fall.  Crowd really into this.  He dragged White up, Jay crumpled, slipped behind looking for a sleeper suplex, Andrade back elbows, White back with chops, to the ropes, Andrade followed-in with a big boot.  White down, he came back to dump Andrade over the ropes via Saito suplex.  Nasty spill.  White sent him back in, Uranage coming, hit, Andrade barely rolled his shoulder off the mat at 2.9, White to another pin, shoulder up at two.

White dragged Andrade up, backed him to the corner, Andrade got a boot up, White wrenched his leg down, Andrade screaming about his knee, limping to the middle, White firing more chops but being smacked with a running back-elbow.  As with Andrade, he barely raised his shoulder at 2.9.  TiA chants from the crowd.

White slumped in the corner, just crushed via running double knees, hammerlock ddt, Juice put Jay’s boot on the rope in the nick of time.  Andrade simply dragged White middle, applied the Figure Four (White’s selling and screaming was superb), into the Figure Eight, White about to tap, the Gunns took the ref, Juice smacked Andrade with his Collision Cowboy of the Month award, White dragged an already-out Andrade to his feet for a Bladerunner and the inevitable win.

White was so out of it he had to be helped up by the rest of the BCG as they celebrated.

I’m absolutely fine with finishes like that when they’re for storyline purposes (though it could’ve protected the ref better).  These two ain’t done and now the babyface has a reason to seek revenge.  Helps when the match is this good.  This was what I was most looking forward to on this show and it didn’t disappoint.

Winner: Jay White

They showed Santana winning on Rampage, being confronted by Ortiz and walking away.  Ortiz promo package – he said Santana’s been using him for 14 years, had a lot to say on social media then when they met face-to-face walked away, ‘tough keyboard warrior’.  He did what he always does, ran from his problems.  ‘You’re not gonna be able to run much longer.’

Nice work capped with a good final line.

*****

Shane Taylor promo.  He talked about them tagging in ROH and dominating.  Then Keith left ‘for the other billionaire’.  He stayed to become an ‘ROH legend’.

To take care of his family and look out for his kids’ future he’ll put Lee ‘in the ground’.  But before he takes everything from Lee, Lee has to get through Lee Moriarty (whose name I couldn’t remember till they said it, doesn’t suggest he has much of chance).

Can heels stop justifying their actions by talking about feeding their kids?  It’s somewhat counter productive.

*****

Aussie Open came out in suits to join on comms as we were shown them losing to FTR last year in New Japan.  Kelly hugged them and called them ‘My boys’.  Nigel said ‘pleasure and an honor’.  So both the babyface and heel announcer like them.  Great.

Fletcher then called the titles ‘belty-welties’ to confirm they are indeed heels.  Nice work.

FTR vs Workhorsemen (Tag Titles)

Backstory: Part of FTR’s open challenge

Cash took Henry down as the crowd drifted between silence and chanting ‘Aussie, Aussie, Aussie’.  Davis talked about them ‘stew(ing)’ over their loss to FTR last year.  His voice is disappointing, it should sound like tobacco and gravel.

Henry got two via roll-up, hit an enziguri then tagged in Drake.  JD Drake is apparently a pro bowler.  That fits.  He landed a big chop and the crowd went wild so not sure if there’s a fight happening or something?  Dax backed to the corner, more chops, he fought out with his own, Drake countered into an inverted atomic drop, scoop slam, falling headbutt, Dax kicked out before one.

Henry back in, crowd quiet, as they’ve been most of the match, he setup Dax for Drake to come back in via senton from out-to-in.  More quick tags from the heels left Dax taking kicks from Henry.  He fired-up, firing chops then dropping Henry via brainbuster.  Henry tagged out, Drake knocked Cash off the apron to block the tag then squashed Dax in the corner via cannonball.  Henry followed with a stomp off the top then tope to Cash which just about made contact.  Tough landing.

Back inside, Drake hit a moonsault which brought the crowd up once more, two only, ‘Holy shit’ chant from the fans.  Cash dropped Henry face-first against the apron out of a Gory Special.  Drake dived off the top again but was caught into the Sharpshooter for the quick tap.

Good action.  Could’ve been better if the Workhorsemen ever appeared on tv.  Drake in particular got some big reactions from the crowd.

Aussie Open were excited at the titles being on the line.  They stood and applauded, eyed the champs then took a mic into the ring.  Davis yelled ‘Aussie, Aussie, Aussie then congratulated them before saying they were in for the fight of their lives’.

(The next bit was very AEW – Fletcher said FTR had called them the best tag team in the world.  Yet recent tv says anything but.  They’re far too into the ‘real’ reputations of wrestlers and miss the part about making them match it by winning matches.)

Fletcher’s talk of taking ‘FTR to the limit in a five-star classic’ only confirmed this.  Though his admitting that they haven’t hit their New Japan heights in AEW and that being why they’ve made this challenge did cover some of that nicely.

They need to prove to the people and themselves that they’re everything they say they are.  Dax called them ‘sacrificial lamb(s) to Max and his best friend and Jericho and his best friend’.  He ‘beg(ged)’ them – literally getting on his knees – to bring the real Aussie Open since at WrestleDream they’re facing the best team in wrestling history.  If they aren’t going to do that, don’t turn up.

Can’t tell whether that was really good or too insider.  Might be a ‘me’ problem.

Winner: FTR

Lexi with ‘CJ’ (Perry).  Lexi asked ‘why now?’  Perry said Miro’s lost his way, she wanted to help him become champion again.  But he’s distracted by temptations.  Miro appeared.  To say his temptation was her.  But hers is the lights, camera and fame.  She said she loves chasing titles, ‘it makes me come alive’ (be nice if more people said that on AEW tv).

Miro said his ‘righteous path is to save them’.  But if she stays… (he implied that he’d have to save her).  She asked if she looked like she needed saving.  They agreed to walk their separate paths.  Though she asked that if he loved her, not to ‘lay a hand’ on any of her future clients (she’s definitely managing Hobbs isn’t she).

She asked him to promise.  He walked off without doing so.  She sighed.

Liked this.  Perry’s a good actress.

*****

They played a WrestleDream promo package voiced-over by Tony Khan.  Interesting choice.  He said every match could steal the show then talked up Inoki (might want to research the guy).  This is an ‘event one-year in the making’.

Don’t lie to fans like that.  We’re not stupid.

Ricky Starks vs Bryan Danielson (Texas Death Match)

Backstory: Starks was pissed that despite beating BD he didn’t have a match on the ppv or a video package while the Dragon did, so made this challenge

JR out, Danielson very over, Starks charged him at the bell, stomping him down in the corner.  Ricky was dressed in all black and for a fight r/t in wrestling gear.  Lot of tv time left.

Ten punches in the corner, Danielson dumped him outside on the fifth then launched a tope before finally removing his ring jacket.  Then dropping Starks yambags-first across the barricade and brawling into the crowd, dumping a bin on him –  contents and all – then heading up the stairs firing kicks, crowd ‘Yes!’-ing themselves silly.

Starks landed a shot to the gut as they continued brawling through the crowd.  But ran into one from the Dragon, who launched more kicks.  Starks headed away back to ringside then flung Danielson over into the front row on the other side.  A bunch of security came to help Danielson up, Starks springboard splashed the bunch.

Ads.

Back to Starks beating Danielson against the desk, the Dragon bleeding from above his left eye.  Starks had smacked him with the ring bell during the break.  He continued the beating with a microphone then grabbed a chair, firing it against Danielson’s knee after placing it against the ring post.

He then placed the chair around Danielson’s ankle and headed upstairs; Danielson recovered to smack him with the chair then joined him upstairs.  Starks bit him, fired more shots to the wound then did his pose – hand covered in blood. Allowing Danielson to land a superplex, releasing Starks while maintaining his grip on the buckle with his legs and performing a sit up to launch a shotgun dropkick from the top.

Yes! kicks with Starks on his knees, more and more vicious, Starks down but clutching the chair.  Danielson ran in, Starks flung it at him at head height (that is really bloody stupid after the time Danielson missed with concussions, not to mention after what happened with Mox).  The crowd chanted for tables because they’re an original bunch.

More ads.

Back to Starks beating on Danielson again.  The Dragon snapped back with a roundhouse, stumbling forward to throw chops, Starks threw back but lost the battle after Danielson targeted the legs.  Ricky hit a flurry of slaps then a spear before wrapping a chain round the Dragon’s neck to choke him.

Danielson dropped, Starks released the choke.  Danielson up at eight, Starks right back to the choke, back-to-back this time as he tried to hang the vet.  Who kicked up and over off the buckle to free himself and snatched a rushing Starks into the LeBell Lock.  Starks tapped but that doesn’t end a Death Match.

He began choking Starks with the chain.  Nigel was disgusted.  ‘Two wrong don’t make a right!’ he yelled when Kelly said they’d both done it.  Starks simply powered out of a chain-assisted choke, shots from the mount, Danielson reversed things before they brawled on their knees – yay/boo – until collapsing.

Danielson crawled to the ropes, getting up with their assistance, ducking a chair shot, busaiku knee-ing the chair into Ricky’s face, Starks now bleeding from the mouth – looked legit.  As Danielson launched stomps with the wrists captured.  Starks spat up at him, Danielson stomped harder then crashed to mat, exhausted.

Somehow Starks still wasn’t down.  The count didn’t even start.  Danielson wrapped his knee in the chain then launched another busaiku knee.  Danielson just got to his feet at nine as Starks stayed down.

Would’ve been better ending on the chair-assisted knee.  Otherwise another very good, very physical match between these two.  Yuta and Big Bill flew down to check on their respective guys.  A shoving match commenced as the show ended.  One of the best weeks of AEW tv in a while.

Winner: Bryan Danielson

_________________________________________________________________

Next Dynamite:

• Swerve Strickland & Hangman Page contract signing, Elite & Embassy banned from ringside
• ‘Hear from’ MJF & Adam Cole
• Willow Nightingale vs Julia Hart (they’re not seriously going to have Willow lose this?)

Next Collision:

• Andrade vs Juice Robinson
• Best Friends vs the Kingdom

Added to WrestleDream:

• Cole & Max vs the Righteous (ROH Tag Titles)
• Christian Cage vs Darby Allin (TNT Title, 2/3 Falls)
• Kenny Omega, Kota Ibushi & Chris Jericho vs Will Ospreay, Konosuke Takeshita & Sammy Guevara
• Eddie Kingston vs Katsuyuori Shibata (ROH & NJPW Strong Titles)
• Kris Statlander vs Julia Hart (TBS Title)
• Young Bucks vs Gunns vs Hook & Orange Cassidy vs Lucha Bros (Winner gets AEW Tag Title shot ‘at any time’)

Thumbs Up/Down

• Strong card on paper – three quality matches that all could’ve main evented
• Jay White vs Andrade
• Miro/Perry storyline
• The Kingdom are fun
• Danielson vs Starks

 *****

• Whatever the hell that bunch of stuff ‘explaining’ the Hart/Hogan match was
• No mention of Mox or updates

Appreciate you reading.  Enjoy the rest of the weekend.