AEW Collision tonight comes to us from FedExForum in Memphis, Tn.  After last week drawing 504,000 & 0.14 in the 18-49 demo.

Do you think when Tony Schiavone gets a cut he yells ‘It STIIIIIIIINGs!’?

*****

Schiavone on comms again along with Kevin Kelly & Nigel McGuinness.  Danielson’s music led the show, crowd happy to see him, crowd shots tight given they’ve got about 2,000 fans in an NBA arena.

A front row fan’s sign read ‘I have a smaller package than Bryan Danielson’ with ‘verified’ blue ticks.  There’s a freedom in that sort of honesty.

Bryan Danielson vs Andrade El Idolo (‘Dream Match’)

Backstory: NONE

As the single thing on this show I was looking forward to, was hoping they’d save this for later – a ray of sunshine through the clouds of Jarrett and pointless tags.

TiA kicked up before anything happened.  When it did – stiff lockup, Danielson pushed back to the ropes for the break.  Danielson now working the shoulder, Andrade slipping behind, Danielson maintaining grip, back into the ropes where Andrade this time needed the break.

After more exchanges with Andrade working the arm, Danielson slipped underneath for a throw, Andrade nodded like ‘okay, let’s go’ while sat on the mat.  A Gory Special following, Danielson dropped to put his weight on Andrade’s shoulders for several close pinfalls as the pair tilted weight.

To a Danielson headlock, whip, Andrade ran him through, pace quickening as he ducked and dodged, avoiding a monkey flip, the pair wrestling through several headlock takedown/leg scissor exchanges before coming up in a stalemate and shaking hands.

Danielson got a leg dive, working the knee, into a bow and arrow, Andrade twisted free to bag a one count, the two aggressively looked for takedowns, seeking their submission finishes, again it came up in a draw, Andrade motioning how close Danielson was to the figure four.

Back to the lockup – crowd very quiet – Danielson tried to take Andrade down by the arm into the LeBell; Andrade countered, again going for the figure four, Danielson kicked free, another reset.

Finally the pleasantries ended, a stiff exchange of chops, Andrade to the corner, hit with kicks, turning the tables until a Dragon headbutt sent him reeling, only to land in his ‘tranquilo’ pose in the ropes, an enraged Danielson rushing him, missing, avoiding a baseball slide, hammerlocking El Idolo’s shoulder into the ringpost and landing a diving knee off the apron.

Ads.  Very deliberate so far, clearly to establish parity but it hasn’t exactly made for a raucous atmosphere.

El Idolo’s shoulder now the focus, he flipped behind Danielson, another chop exchange – overhands from Andrade, the last of which dropped the Dragon to his knees.  He came back up with stiff kicks, was sent to the buckle, used it to vault behind Andrade, looking for his diving forearm as usual, Andrade was ready, hitting his own HBK-style version, grabbing his shoulder before kipping up.  Danielson slumped in the corner, crowd chanting ‘si!’ as El Idolo prepared a charging knee, BD got a boot up, Andrade came back via springboard dropkick, ‘oohs’ from the crowd, Danielson spilling outside where Andrade followed via moonsault off the middle rope.

More TiA as he nailed a split-leg inside – Kelly pointed out the bruising on his left bicep, did look gnarly.  Danielson set atop the buckle, superplex blocked, series of headbutts from the vet, Andrade dropping to the mat, shotgun coming, hit, kip-up, crowd behind BD, yes! kicks blistering El Idolo until catching a pair into dragon screws, figure four coming; Danielson cradled him for two.

A third dragon screw, Danielson ready, transitioning into the LeBell but too near the ropes. Nice story of both seeking and countering one-another’s submissions.  Andrade now set atop the buckle, he caught Danielson with an elbow, the vet dangling in the tree of woe, leaping stomp, running knee, nearly three.

Scoop slam, Danielson left middle, Andrade to the top, double moonsault; Danielson knees up, kick-your-head-in stomps, LeBell Lock, dead center, Andrade broke the grip, figure four applied, Danielson got the ropes just as Andrade was bridging up.

To their feet, more big knife edges, Andrade goading the Dragon before landing a back elbow to leave him slumped in the corner, running knee coming, Danielson stepped up to blast him with a round kick, busaiku avoided, Andrade bagged an O’Connor roll, series of two counts fighting in and out of counter pins until Danielson slipped out of a crucifix, briefly looking for the LeBell before settling for a crucifix of his own: 1, 2, 3.

The way these two wrestled on the mat was great, really aggressive, you could hear grunting, seemed very real.  Fans on their feet at the end as Danielson offered a handshake, they shook, he raised the Mexican’s arm before posing in the corner.

As the lights went out.  Which is overdone but I’ll take it when it means Malakai Black’s actually going to wrestle singles!  I hope.  He laid out Danielson with Black Mass, the lights went down again as Claudio and Yuta ran down, Malakai gone when they came back up.

Didn’t do a lot for Andrade though, immediately an afterthought.

Winner: Bryan Danielson

Darby Allin talked about Nick Wayne.  He’d told Wayne not to listen to what people said online, but he did.  Wayne wants to take everything away from him?  Well he took away Wayne’s tooth (legitimately half of one anyway).  If Wayne wants to find him and say something, he’ll be there Wednesday when Tony Khan gives Sting his special gift.  And if that’s what Allin thinks it is, ‘Whoo, it’s gonna be special’.  So presumably it’s Ric Flair.  Sigh.  More oldies.

Btw Allin’s legit wrecked his shoulder, not helped by his recent training for his climbing Everest next year or his landing on it while taking part in Nitro Circus last week.  And still has more training coming up so maybe they’ll do an angle Weds.

Skye Blue vs Hollyhood Haley

Backstory: NONE

Schiavone really pushed Khan’s ‘gift’.  ‘It’s not Robocop is it?’ asked Nigel.  You bring me sunshine Mr. McGuinness.

Haley hit a leg trip and a curb stomp with her knee.  Blue caught her off the top via powerbomb, crowd absolutely silent before Blue hit a sloppy version of her finish, smashing Haley’s head on the mat.

They’re really pushing the impact of the HOB mist now.

Winner: Skye Blue

The Gunns vs Outrunners

Backstory: NONE

Squashes back-to-back.  Cept I ain’t got the drink in me.  Unfortunately.

Jay White out with the Gunns, no Juice.  The Outrunners look like the Beverly Brothers found a time machine.  3:10 to Yuma in about two minutes.  Kelly insisted the Outrunners were ‘no joke’ at the start.

Lights went out again (what was I saying?) and a masked ‘Devil’ appeared backstage, staring into a mirror but saying nothing.  The screen went black, the fans chanted MJF, White looked spooked.

They’re not doing much to add intrigue to this whodunnit.

Winner: the Gunns

Lexi with Orange Cassidy.  Who’s defending his title on BotB.  Statlander walked in and basically threatened Lexi into letting her use her as a barbell.  Not very ‘babyface’.  Statlander kept asking if Cassidy was ready, finally Lexi repeated the question in a begging way, like ‘Can you answer so she’ll put me down’.  Cassidy unenthusiastically said yes.

They pushed BotB.

Eddie Kingston vs Jeff Jarrett (Memphis Street Fight)

Backstory: If Jarrett wins Jay Lethal gets an ROH title shot, which means 1. He’ll probably win 2. If this booking was a person they’d be drunk and covered in their own vomit

Dave Brown had joined on comms after the last segment and could not be heard.  Combined with a focus on aging wrestlers, Jarrett himself and the usual shenanigans, it’s impressive how committed they are to this TNA revival.

Jarrett met Kingston on the ramp, Lethal attacked immediately and was backdropped on it.  Singh broke Kingston’s cane; Kingston hit him in the balls.  Jarrett smacked him in the head with a garbage can lid.  Hey did you know Sammy Guevara and Moxley are out with concussions?

Of course they had a ‘concessions’ table setup near ringside since AEW have to hammer that every single time.  Cue obligatory Tupelo remarks on comms.  The fans started chanting ‘Whoop that trick’ so I was hoping Draymond Green had turned up.  He hadn’t so I had to settle for continuing to watch this.

Lethal hit a Diamond Cutter off the stage through a table.  That wasn’t the finish, it just led to ads.

Jarrett began working over Kingston’s knee with a metal bat and trash can.  Karen angle was annoying.  The attack on the champ’s knee continued.  And continued.  Then continued some more.  Figure Four applied, fans chanting for Kingston, he double birded Jarrett (thanks Eddie).  The Figure Four continued.  Kingston turned it, Lethal missed an elbow off the top, all the goons came in, Lethal broke the pin at two after a Uriken; was dumped outside via overhead suplex.

Singh took a guitar to the head, Jarrett hit the Stroke, had to pause to celebrate for a bit since Kingston was kicking out cause god knows he and that move need protecting.  Lethal fired away from the mount, Jarrett threw more shots, Karen slapped him, Lethal hit a thrust kick, Singh a chokeslam, nother Stroke, Lethal Injection, win.

So I read that if Jarrett wins, Lethal gets a title shot.  It’s a good thing because these announcers did not mention this once.  I continue to believe the damage done to the AEW brand when anyone tunes in and sees Jarrett and crew is incalculable.  Just try to imagine him turning up on one of those first few Dynamites.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett

The Acclaimed and Gunn backstage with Lexi as Caster’s weird gimmick continues.  Despite the other two again coaching him he said to Lexi, ‘Talk about Battle of the Belts, how about you use the belt on me?’.  Like Renee, she was furious and threatened to leave.  Gunn apologized profusely and she stayed.  Caster was sent to face the wall.  Though cheekily turned round when they did the ‘We have now been champs for __ days’ line.

And was promptly turned back round to face the wall.  Gunn and Bowens promised to whoop the ex-JAS on BotB.  They left and Caster continued facing the wall.  Kelly made a ‘Nobody puts Caster in the corner line’.  And BTE used to worry about the over-fifty demo!

Amusing segment.  Isn’t doing a lot for Caster but at least it isn’t the same ol’, same ol’ Acclaimed every week.

Miro vs Action Andretti

Backstory: Andretti hit on/asked CJ Perry to be his manager, Miro’s vowed to destroy anyone who does this in order to ‘save’ her from the changes the business brings out in her

CJ Perry came out first.  She has very generic dance music.  No reaction for Andretti.  McGuinness said he’d be ‘looking at the lights tonight’.  Nice pop for Miro.  Perry was seated near the announcers, Miro walked by and glared at her.  They debated whether he had a right to force her to go home.  McGuinness told the other two the best way to keep their wives at home was for them to leave the house.

Miro beat him in the corner, Andretti landed on his feet out of a beal, hit a flurry of dropkicks but springboarded into a big right.  Perry smiled broadly but tried to hide it.  Fans chanted ‘Miro’ loudly.  Clubbing ripcord lariat, a second, a third, Andretti then flung into the ringpost like a dart.  He crashed outside.

Ads.

Back to a chinlock, Schiavone tried his best to put over Andretti, Miro yelled at Perry while maintaining the hold.  Andretti fought back with rights, nailed an enziguri, running forearm in the corner, crowd silent whenever he’s on offense, barely even joined in with ten punches.

Andretti knocked Miro off the apron then nailed him via tope con hiro.  Cross body off the top back inside, an angry Miro span him into a slam, the end coming, ‘GAAME OVAA’.  Stomp hit, he blew a kiss to Perry, Andretti rolled through the move, nearly stole the pin with a rollup, hit a tornado ddt, running shotgun, to the apron, springboard 450, Miro threw him off before two.

Crowd have been ready for this to end, they expected a squash.

Andretti got Miro on his shoulder, Miro raked the eyes, got Game Over, Andretti immediately passed out.  Don’t understand this going so long only for Andretti to lose so decisively.  An elongated squash.

Winner: Miro

Lexi with the ex-JAS.  They’re all on the same page, they had breakfast together.  Menard emphasized there was no dancing at the breakfast in a dig at Garcia.  They argued and all split off separately.  Ruby Soho walked in, she and Parker talked about family problems.

Ruby did her usual ‘on the brink of snapping’ promo about deserving to be a champion.  She ‘laid down a challenge’ to any champ, despite them announcing her facing Shida on Dynamite minutes earlier, graphic and everything.

*****

Another of those LFI packages.  They were having a business meeting.  Rush said he’d worked too hard to not be a star.  He’d learned English and the American style only to see others getting what he deserves.

To be continued…

*****

Eddie Kingston promo backstage, bleeding from the head.  He’s made Lethal ‘jump through hoops’ because he used to love wrestling but now follows round ‘that carny son-of-a-bitch Jarrett’ and Dutt like a lapdog.  Kingston basically had a breakdown over having to beat Lethal down in front of his mother.  She’ll cry not because her son’s hurting, but because he deserves it.  He kept calling Lethal by what I assume is his real name.

This felt way over the top because at no point on this show have they explained this story or that Lethal wants the ROH title.  I only know it because I read a report elsewhere.  All we’ve seen on Dynamite or Collision is Lethal and Jarrett watching Kingston’s match backstage (which now I think was actually on the Buy In which 50,000 people watched).

FTR vs Bad Thad Brown & Darian Bengston

Backstory: NONE

FTR wrestling ‘for the first time since losing their titles’.  So for two weeks then?  We. Are. Not. Stupid.

The lights went out again about a minute in.  Malakai was stood in the ring.  They went down again, the whole House of Black appeared, beating down FTR 3-on-2.  Guessing Edge (yes I know it’s Copeland, Edge is easier to type 😊) makes the save since they’ve trademarked ‘Rated-FTR’ this week.

Maybe not.  They laid out the ex-champs.  Problem is, the fans chanted ‘House of Black’ and barked like Brody since they’re popular.

Winner: No contest

Ricky Starks & Big Bill vs Wheeler Yuta & Claudio Castagnoli (Tag Titles)

Backstory: NONE

So why are FTR being chumps and ‘earning’ their way back to a shot when they’re just handed out like this?  Good half hour left.  JR joined on comms, this week he’d had breakfast with Jerry Lawler.

Starks did a bunch of push-ups then kept jogging round the ring away from the heels.  Crowd silent as he and Yuta wrestled, Starks working the arm, Yuta rolling free, kipping up, snapping Starks over, knee drop to the shoulder, very smooth.  They wrestled for control on the mat, Starks seeking a leg dive, couldn’t get it, Yuta smirked, asked him to bring it, he fled to tag Big Bill.

Who pointed to Claudio.  Yuta ignored him, took a knee to the gut, clubbing blow to the back.  After being beaten on, Yuta was taken to the heels’ corner, Starks mugged for the camera with a ‘thumbs up’ as Bill choked Yuta in the ropes.  Cute.  Starks tried a cheap shot, Yuta yelled at him, every word could be heard cause it’s so quiet, Bill sent him flying off the apron.  Starks now wanted to tag back in.  And did.

Ads.

Back to Bill tagging back in as Starks landed a snap suplex.  Bill tried a cheap shot, Claudio dropped off the apron to avoid it, Bill got two on Yuta.  This is very slow.  Particularly after almost no action since the opener.

Yuta bridged Bill up and over, Starks ran to cut off the tag, Bill clocked Claudio – JR called him ‘Cesaro’ – and Starks rammed him into the steps.  Interested to see what kind of pop the tag finally gets, crowd so very flat.  Bill snatched a running Yuta into a Bossman Slam for two.  McGuinness emphasized this was all Yuta’s fault for not tagging Claudio at the start when he could’ve.  Man’s not wrong.

Yuta avoided a charge in the corner, Bill hit the buckle, but no-one to tag.  Claudio finally made the apron but Yuta was out cold.  Double tags, fair pop but nothing major, CC went to work on Starks in the corner with big rights, uppercuts, lariats, twenty of the latter, some of the crowd counted along.  He then mimicked Starks’ rope-walk axe-handle then nailed a running dropkick.  Dude’s an impressive athlete.  Starks out at two.

Big Swing time, Starks grabbed the ropes, fled outside, Claudio pursued him, running uppercuts for both heels against the barricade.

Basement elbow-strike to the mush on Starks, who slipped free, blind tag to Bill as Starks nailed a springboard tornado ddt, Bill followed with a big boot for two.  It seems Kelly’s left.  Claudio running uppercut in the corner, tag to Yuta, he held Bill upright by the legs, Yuta came off the top via dropkick into a combo slam.  Count of two.

Still so quiet.

As Yuta climbed the big man, H&A to the side of the head, he looked for a German, Starks grabbed his leg leaving him open for a big lariat.  For two.  Bill knocked Claudio off the apron, Yuta fighting two-on-one, Bill dropped him via powerbomb, Starks pushed Bill off to try the pin since he’s legal.  Count of two.  Starks dropped his head, Yuta hit a punt, Olympic Slam, tag to CC, big boot to Bill, running lariat to Starks for two.  Crowd finally waking at the prospect of the Big Swing, he tagged Yuta first, sixteen rotations into a Yuta dropkick for two.

Bill back in, looking for a double chokeslam, he was fought off, ended up back outside, the faces were preparing a rocket launcher when the HOB hit the ring.  Buddy shoved Yuta off the buckle with the ref distracted.  The crowd again barked like Brody.  He knocked Claudio into the crowd.  They threw Yuta in to take a Spear and Roshambeaux.  Lame.

This might be AEW’s nadir.  Attendance-wise and creatively, they’re in big trouble.  The two go together; shows feel so flat.  Even Danielson and FTR got barely any reaction from a crowd lulled to sleep when they came out to make the save.

Though which finally woke, as did I, when Wild Thing hit the airwaves.  Moxley laid out Bill with one shot, a mass brawl erupted, the heels were sent packing.  The crowd again chanted ‘Whoop that trick!’.

Ricky Starks then headed back inside thinking the other heels were with him and got laid out with a bunch of finishers.  Is he leaving!?? (Obviously rhetorical).  Starks took a big swing as Cash played jump-rope.  The crowd were finally having fun here so that’s good.  Felt sorry for those guys most of the night.

Winner: Ricky Starks & Big Bill

 ________________________________________________________________

Next Dynamite:

• Tony Khan has a gift for Sting
• RVD & Hook vs TBA
• MJF vs Juice Robinson (Dynamite Diamond Ring)
• Ruby Soho vs Hikaru Shida (Women’s Title – announcers were very excited about this for some reason)
• Bucks & Hangman vs the Hardys & Brother Zay (ROH Six-Man Titles)
• Renee sits down with Jericho

Next Collision:

• NOTHING

Thumbs Up/Down

• Danielson vs Andrade

 *****

• A total waste of time outside of that opener, it’s becoming a feature of Collision that we get a good match or two (with no stakes or story) and nothing else. No wonder people don’t want to buy tickets
• When you’re repeatedly pushing ‘Dave Brown will appear’, you’re targeting a niche of a niche
• Not helped by the rest of the rundown being ‘appears’ or ‘in action’
• On yet another night of predictable finishes – people stick around when they’re not sure who’s winning

Appreciate you reading.  Enjoy the rest of the weekend.