AEW Dynamite tonight comes to us from the TD Garden in Boston, MA.  After last week drawing 825,000 & 0.29 in the 18-49 demo.

*****

Jack Perry vs Hook (FTW Title)

Backstory: The two have played tag in & out of cars for about three weeks after a jealous Perry hit Hook with a lariat

Perry’s old music played, the man himself nowhere to be found.  Cut to a video of him digging a hole in the desert and dragging a body.  A limo turned up, Perry – I guess wistfully – stood around for a second then got in as it drove off.

Classical music then played as he hit the entrance ramp.  (So he was burying a ‘Hits of the 80s’ tape?)  That music just does not fit.  His vibe is spoilt brat superstar, not cultured better-than-you guy.  He then tried to intimidate a small child in the front row.  And failed miserably.

Excalibur told us it was his boots he was burying.  Couldn’t they have shown us that?

Schiavone tried his best to synopsize and legitimize the FTW title.  Not an easy task.

Perry tried a cheap shot, Hook avoided it and fired rights to the gut in the corner, crowd hot for that.  Perry fled to ringside, briefly taking advantage of a pursuing Hook before being flung across the barricade into the fans then lariat-ed back over it to ringside.

Brief chants of ‘Hook’ as they reached one of the two rings.  Perry blocked a suplex, raked the eyes and landed a dropkick from the top.  Two count.

Considering there are apparently about 10,000 people in the house, it doesn’t sound like it.  A lot of quiet between the booing and cheering.  As Perry choked Hook in the corner with his boot.

Break.

Nothing special so far.  But admittedly I’m not into either guy or this story.

Back to both on the apron, Hook’s waist locked, Perry seeking a German, which was blocked until Hook turned the tables, dropping Perry off it via T-Bone.  Very hard landing, neither was Perry all that far from landing on his head.

Really not a fan of that.  Didn’t look under control.

Crowd loved it though – ‘Holy S’ chant as the ref began to count Perry out.  Hook wasn’t for that, dragging him back in (nice touch since this is supposed to be a grudge match); Perry quickly slipped back outside before shoving Hook to the buckle and landing a draping ddt off the apron.

Then slipping back inside, more than happy to take the count out win.  Another nice touch to highlight the difference between the heel and babyface.

Back in at nine, a groggy Hook tried to stand, Perry arrogantly poked him with his boot, Hook popped up with a wild swing, Perry ducked, deadlift German, Hook popped up, totally no selling.

Blocked a thrust kick, German with a bridge, two only.  Another, same result.  Perry grabbed the ref to block another, mule kick to Hook, his Hidden Blade variation (still doesn’t have a name), Hook kicked out.

A frustrated Perry headed out to grab the belt, was caught in a face lock, he ran Hook into the ref, crushing him in the corner, then ate a head and arm suplex.  Giving Hook a visual pin.  Ref stayed down, Perry cracked Hook with the belt, slow three count leading to a new champ.

One of a few titles that doesn’t really need to exist – though at least this served a storyline purpose since Perry snapped in-part because he promised to win one.

Was fine.  Crowd heated for parts of it, quiet for others.  Plenty of boos for the former Jungle Boy.

Taz promised this wasn’t over.

Winner: Jack Perry

Backstage to Alex Marvez – they refrained from calling him ‘Scoops’ this week – chasing the ‘biggest story in wrestling’, whether Chris Jericho will join with Don Callis.

They showed footage of the two eating together.  Callis spotted Marvez and sent a goon to shoo him away.

*****

Adam Cole & MJF: they were in a parking lot so Cole could help Max face his fear of spicy food.  They went into a Chinese restaurant (is Chinese all that spicy?) – Max wasn’t happy since he figured there’d be poor people inside.

Max recapped last week’s match to Cole – talking about his slam on Bill as if it was Hulk vs Andre.  Their order came – looked like sweet and sour chicken – and was way too hot for both.  Apparently it arrived before they’d even ordered drinks, four arrived, in like tiki cups with straws and fruit.

Despite this they believed the drinks were water and guzzled them but thought something was ‘off’ about them.  The waiter explained they were ‘100% alcohol’.

They said ‘What the …!’ at the same time.  Tee hee.

Cut to Max recapping last week’s match again, Cole groaned.  Then pointed out that the waiter reminded him of Sammy Guevara.  Max said he was more like Daniel Garcia.  I think they were supposed to be drunk.

Cole said he was ‘proud’ of MJF for facing his fears.  There was only one thing left to do – ‘DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!!’ – cut to a slo-mo shot of them heading toward the waiter mid-move.

Which was vaguely amusing.  Outside of that, I’m hoping whoever wrote this had fun so that at least someone did.

They’ve done a hell of a job building that Double Clothesline tbf.

*****

More from Marvez re: Callis & Jericho.  As the two arrived at the arena in a white limo.  They called Marvez an idiot.  Excalibur did call him ‘Alex Scoops’ once more.

Kayla Sparks vs Britt Baker

Backstory: None

Excalibur referred to Baker as the winner of last year’s Owen Hart Cup, briefly touching upon this year’s victors this past Saturday.

Sparks hit an elbow strike then took a slingblade.  Apparently a devastating one since it allowed Britt time to dramatically take out and put on her gloves, do the ‘D…M…D’ thing then hit a splash in the corner.

Underhook throw, swinging neckbreaker, Lockjaw.

Crowd continue to be flat outside of high and crowd participation spots.

Winner: Britt Baker

Renee with MJF & Cole.  She asked if they were surprised at their chemistry.  Cole said ‘Not at all’.  Both vowed to win the match and hit the Double Clothesline.  Max said that unlike Sammy & his wife ‘We don’t need Plan B’.

And they would ‘dance all over’ Garcia.

Max had another gift for Cole.  Matching trunks.  Cole had them matching jackets – the gear white mixed with ‘Burberry’.

Cole promised one more surprise.  But Max had to ‘wait and see’.  They walked off together giggling.  As Roderick Strong came in shouting after Cole.  Renee asked him a question about them – unfortunately requiring him to act – ‘Renee, not right now’.

He looked maniacal here with his neck brace and all.  And sad at his friend totally ignoring him.  Almost as if he’s going heel.

MJF & Adam Cole vs Sammy Guevara & Daniel Garcia

Backstory: Winner gets a tag title shot

Facing off against the biggest babyfaces in the company isn’t going to help Sammy if they’re still determined for him to be one.

They showed the various ways Garcia & Guevara had fluked their way to the final of this prestigious tournament.  Jericho’s music kicked in, not much of a reaction at first, slightly bigger pop as he hit the ramp.

He demanded they cut out his music, the crowd booed but then sang it acapella.  Until Max’s music played.  Who got a huge reaction in his new gear.  Excalibur was surprised by this.  He then did the whole – cut my music so Cole can get the big entrance thing – only for his own music to play once more.

Turned out to be a mashup of Cole’s lyrics with his theme.  Delighted, Max whirled Cole around in his arms to the biggest cheer of the night.  I’ll say it again, if they’d done this stuff with anybody else, it could’ve been so effective in building a tag team the fans loved.

MJF again made a big point of playing babyface, slapping hands and all.

Jericho joined on comms.  To say Sammy & Garcia were doing exactly what he asked of them a few weeks back – flying on their own.  Schiavone asked him about his lunch with Callis.  Jericho said they were still negotiating.

Schiavone did at least call out how ‘disingenuous’ Max was slapping hands with fans and etc.

Massive cheer as Cole and MJF hit the ring, the match about to start.  Huge ‘double clothesline’ chant.  Turns out fans like characters and stories.

The ref kept trying to call for the bell – Garcia stopped him and danced, Max danced back.  They kept stopping the bell until Max called for a ‘dance off’.  Schiavone really wanted them to just wrestle.

Max hit a button at ringside – the lights dimmed, disco music played and spotlights hit the ring as Sammy & Garcia went first.  It was fairly amusing, though not a patch on Schiavone’s disgusted – ‘This really sucks’.

Sammy hit his pose a la the Sex Gods and Garcia dived so his head popped through between Sammy’s legs.  Mere words can’t really do this justice.  Laughed out loud at that.

MJF’s turn – he danced for a bit then pointed to Cole who was decidedly uninterested.

Unlike the others, Cole was not trying to look remotely cool or rhythmic.  Awkwardly humping the air instead.

Again, a lot of this is very entertaining and amusing out of context.  I.e. If you ignore that this is the world champion and a match for a chance at the tag titles.  They’re also clearly trying to keep the first hour light ahead of a serious hour of action so as not to burn out the crowd.

‘Please ring the bell, I beg you’ asked Schiavone as the record scratched, the lights came on and the heels sneak attacked.

Garcia grabbed a headlock, Max poked the eyes, Cole did the same, Garcia then wandered between the pair eating rights.  As they called for the Double Clothesline.  Sammy broke it up to boos, the heels hit the apron and were knocked off.

MJF starting a clap, readying a dive and of course not delivering.  Just hitting the ropes over and over before posing.  Then took a shot to the back from Garcia as the ads arrived.

MJF down, Sammy to the top, he raced down to cut-off the tag, took a shoulder block, Max staggered around in ultra-cartoonish fashion before plummeting down onto Sammy’s genitals.

I don’t see how they keep him heel after all this.  He’s way too entertaining.

Both down, Max making the crawl, Garcia cut him off, Max kicked him away, same thing with Sammy, both heels grabbed him, calling for the double clothesline, allowing Max to make the tag.

Cole in – pump and thrust kicks, crowd hot, to the top, Panama Sunrise avoided, Garcia stomped him down in the corner.  He danced at the ref and took a superkick when he turned around.  Boom coming, Sammy grabbed the boot but took a superkick out of a springboard, both heels down, Cole eyeing Max, it’s time…

Maybe not, Sammy ducked the Double Clothesline then countered a second into a double Spanish Fly for 2.5.  To the top, Max caught him coming off, they wrestled to the ropes, blind tag to Cole, who superkicked Sammy, leaving the heels down once more.

The heels again thwarted the Clothesline, Garcia in, hooking the Dragon Slayer, Cole got the ropes.  Then elevated Garcia over the ropes onto Guevara, calling for MJF to dive.  He hit the ropes again but couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Cole took out both heels with superkicks then called for it again – Max hit a tope through the ropes to a MASSIVE cheer.  There’s a lesson there.

Inside, Cole hit Panama Sunrise to Garcia, called for the Clothesline, tag to Max, they hit it and no-one kicks out of that.

They’ll face FTR for the belts on Saturday 29^th.

Jericho left to ‘console my guys’.  They walked right past him on the ramp.  Still cannot tell what Jericho’s supposed to be.  Partly since it’s hard to tell what Sammy & Garcia are supposed to be.

The ref handed Cole the belt to pass to Max, he stopped and stared, Max wasn’t happy.  The crowd chanted ‘Hug it out’, they did.  Max smiled.  Until Cole turned his back.

Baffled that they’re building a world title match this way.  Totally backwards.  Unless this is intended to be a double turn?

FTR’s music intervened, they hit the ramp to a nice pop then talked smack face-to-face with their upcoming challengers.  For quite a long time.  Almost seemed like another shoe was going to drop.  Cole & MJF’s music played, as Dax went to the camera to tell ‘Tony (Khan)’ that next time they should play their music since ‘we’re the damn champions’.

Really enjoying the tag titles being something worthwhile again.  That should be another really good match.  Presumably Cole and Max will wrestle a little more seriously there.

Winner: MJF & Adam Cole

Highlights from Collision, complete with the weekly technical snafu.  Including highlighting Ricky Starks stealing the pin from Punk then snatching the trophy from Jushin Liger.

*****

Renee with the Best Friends, Cassidy, Kris Statlander, Darby Allin & Nick Wayne.  Who are all wrestling on either Rampage or at the ROH ppv.  Allin said he was going to see Swerve in the battle royal.

Then asked Orange to give his friend AR Fox a title shot.  Cassidy agreed.

The extended Best Friends did a ‘hands in’ thing.  Allin and Wayne wanted no part of it.

*****

A shark mascot then appeared behind the announcers to push Shark Week.  Then Rampage.  Which’ll have that big battle royal thing they do.

Blood & Guts

(Golden Elite) Kenny Omega, Kota Ibushi, Hangman Page & the Young Bucks

vs

(BCC) Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli, Wheeler Yuta, Konosuke Takeshita & Pac

Backstory: Goes back to the BCC taking out the Bucks months ago, Don Callis turning on Omega to help Mox win a cage match & more recently each side revealing Pac & Ibushi as their fifths

You’ll be amazed to hear the BCC won the coin flip.  Claudio out first, through the crowd.

Break.

Before Kenny Omega came out to begin things for the Elite.  Seems they’re going to do entrances for each guy rather than having them wait outside the cage.  Loud ‘Kenny’ chant as he reached the cage.

Bell, grapple, Claudio on top, big uppercuts and kicks, Kenny firing back – rapid chops and strikes – until Castagnoli’s strength came through once more.  Crowd exceptionally quiet.

As Claudio blocked a suplex, launching one of his own, Kenny slipping behind but caught into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.  Adjusting out of a backdrop to land on his feet between rings, to the top, big cross body, shots from the mount.

A section of the crowd kept chanting for them to use the other ring (I guess they’d only used one all night). Claudio cleverly faked doing so then deliberately didn’t, allowing the babyface Omega to take things to that ring.  Nice work.

Axe-handle to the back, stinging chop in the corner, another, a third – before stomping the Swiss down and working the crowd.

Claudio got a boot up, uppercut, slam, elbow drop.  Another uppercut rocking Omega back to the corner where Castagnoli worked him over.  The pair clearly pacing themselves here ahead of a long night.

As the commentators listed the numerous injuries that’ve happened in this match.

Omega vaulted to avoid a charging Claudio, rolling through and popping up into a beautiful hurracanrana that left the crowd ‘oohing’.  That athleticism’s just crazy.  Explosive.

Countdown clock – Pac time, Claudio down, Omega watching and waiting for the Geordie (someone from Newcastle).  Allowing Castagnoli to strike from behind.

(The heels coming through the crowd takes ages and kinda kills the advantage idea.  Claudio had to attack here so there wasn’t too long a lull.)

Speaking of explosive, god damn I’ve missed Pac – shotgun off the top, heel kick to the gut, one to the mush, running dropkick to the head.  So smooth, looks and sounds brutal.

Break.

The heels’ advantage gone as we returned, countdown clock up, Cowboy time.  He went to work on the heels, big rights, chants of ‘Cowboy S’ and maybe some boos?  Omega still down, Pac to the ropes, caught into a fallaway, springboard lariat to Claudio, Pac planted via powerbomb.

He was then caught posing on the ropes but came off via moonsault onto Claudio, running through his usual ‘comeback’ despite the cage.  Omega back up, they targeted Pac in the corner with splashes, into a double-team rolling elbow/German combo.

Page set Pac between the ropes and the cage in one ring, Omega did the same to Claudio in the other for stereo big boots.  Omega then rattling the Swiss against the steel.  Before being flung into it himself.

As Pac and Page grappled.

Countdown clock – Moxley – big pop.

And of course, when he enters the wrestling ends.  He brought a screwdriver.  Moxley’s one of my favorite guys, but he’s way past overdoing it with this.  Especially since no-one even sells it.

He stabbed both guys then handed it to Claudio, revealing it was a fork instead.  He jabbed both guys.  Then grabbed a bucket of something.  As Hangman fought back with rapid rights until being dropped via a lariat we barely saw.

Then poured broken glass onto the mat.  Groan.

Sides about to be even – Nick Jackson out.  Again maybe some boos?  As he hit the ring, fighting 3-on-1, dropkick from the top, Mox landing in the glass, avoided Claudio who nearly smashed into Pac, allowing him to run wild with dropkicks and superkicks to all three before sending Pac to the opposite ring via lariat, out-to-in facebuster to Claudio, cutter through the ropes to Pac, crowd wild.  Great sequence.

Before he landed a rope-walk springboard hurracanrana, Claudio landing in the glass.  Mox quickly striking, dropping him in the sharp stuff then stomping some into his chest.  He and Claudio then suplexed Omega into it.

Just gross.  Omega’s back riddled with it for another forty minutes.

Time for another heel – Yuta.  Thought he might be last since he was apparently banged up after the recent match with Omega.

Break.

Again we missed the entire ‘heat’, Matt Jackson out as we came back.

Lariat to Pac, superkick fake before ddt’ing Yuta into a chair, sliced bread to Claudio off Mox’s chest and a spear to Mox.  Nick upstairs, Risky Business to Mox, Hangman back up, Omega to his knees, all eight fighting across both rings.

Mox crushed both Bucks via KKL in the corner, snap suplexes as they stumbled out.  Omega hit a Kintaro Crusher to Yuta, both landing in the glass, Omega grabbing his backside, seemingly the worse-off.  Hate it.

Takeshita out to Callis’ new weird music that’s basically one sound.  Chair in hand, he took out Page, fought off the Bucks via double German, Calllis out on comms.  As Takeshita hit a massive lariat to poor Kenny who landed in the glass once more.

None of which is apparently enough since Moxley now dragged out a bed of nails.  If I wasn’t covering this, I’d have turned this off now.

‘It is Blood & Guts’ said Excalibur.  Yes, it’s supposed to be an eventual result of the fighting, not a guarantee.

He propped the nails in the corner, spikes out.  Omega desperately fighting not to be sent into it until being dropkicked back-first into the nails.  Just gross.

He was then slammed right onto it.

There are still over twenty minutes left, is a lava pit next?

Ibushi time, the crowd counting down – ‘the Golden Star’ introduced, pausing to bask in the glow of the crowd while his best friend dies on a bed of nails.  Loud ‘Ibushi’ chants after Yuta met him on the ramp and was instantly laid out.

He laid out all of the heels with one shot, leaving Mox – pouring blood of course, to flip him off while driving Omega’s hand into the nails.  Rights, lefts and kicks leaving Moxley on the mat until Claudio struck from behind.  As Nick and Takeshita scrapped in the other ring.

Ibushi hit a weak double Pele kick to Pac and Claudio, Yuta and Matt fighting atop the ramp, Ibushi kicked Mox down back-first onto the nails then hit a moonsault.  Takeshita brawling with the Golden Lovers, V-Trigger, Kamagoye ready, Claudio and Pac made the save.

Castagnoli flung Nick into the cage, he rebounded and smashed his hip against the apron, not remotely in control of his landing.

Break.

Matt and Yuta fighting atop the cage when we came back – locomotion Northern lights, nearing the edge, Matt pointing off the edge, Yuta countered into a ddt.

They chose this moment to plug the Red Cross and giving blood – Taz laughed, Schiavone laughed, I laughed, Excalibur just about held it together.

Yuta climbed down, Matt remained up there.  It’s hard to document now since they keep cutting and showing wide shots.  Mox hit a piledriver to Ibushi.  Pac and Claudio readied piledrivers, Matt poured a bag of thumb tacks down from the top, allowing Kenny and Ibushi to backdrop the heels into them.

Nick threw superkicks to any heels standing and even those who weren’t.  As the crowd chanted for tables.  One was propped in the corner, as a ‘we want fire’ chant began.  Well, you immediately gave ‘em the last thing they asked for…

Omega hit You Can’t Escape to Pac, Hangman a running shooting star, the Bucks both came off the top, the crowd going wild, Omega badly favoring his knee after smashing it against the mat.  Crowd chanting for the Elite as we headed to another break.

Too many of those.

After basically murdering people all match, Mox raked his nails on Hangman’s back.  The heels hit superplexes one after another until Pac swung from the top of the cage to stomp Nick through a table.  Crazy.  Something like that should probably end the match.

The heels grouped in one ring, the faces in another, they met in the middle for a fist fight.  The Bucks hit superkicks to Claudio and Yuta but were run over by Takeshita, who was smashed by Page, who was cutter’d by Mox, who was knee-strike’d by Ibushi, who was enziguri’d by Pac, who was snap dragon’d into the glass by Omega.

OWA ready, Pac slipped behind into the Brutalizer, Takeshita got a sleeper on Ibushi, Claudio hit a giant swing to Matt – yay heels! – into a Sharpshooter.   Ibushi went round breaking all the submissions with strikes, but couldn’t budge Claudio until a third kick to the chest.

An Ibushi chant as Mox kissed Omega then the camera, getting blood all over it.  They all attacked Omega in the corner, he slipped free, causing Pac and Claudio to collide, Pac wasn’t happy.

Mox tried to break it up as they went chest to chest.  Pac flipped off the Swiss then left.  Guess that’s the ROH title match.  Much as with the handy bag of tacks atop the cage, there was a pair of bolt cutters under the ring the whole time that Pac knew about!  How useful.

Omega struck with V-triggers and Snapdragons to all heels, Page hit the apron, Claudio kindly stood still to take a Buckshot, Yuta ate a Buckshot/V-Trigger combo, they cuffed Moxley to the ropes, Matt hit Yuta with a superkick with a different shoe – guess maybe it had nails, they never told us.

Anyway, Yuta was bleeding.  As Callis dragged Takeshita away so he wouldn’t lose.  And they confirmed Matt did have tacks in his shoe and choked Yuta out with a chain.  Mox surrendered so Yuta wouldn’t die.

Flat finish – the faces with a 5-on-3 advantage.  Non-pinfalls or taps don’t really work before mainstream crowds.

Maybe I’m one of those ‘soft’ people Punk referred to a few weeks back.  But I just spend matches like these cringing and hoping the real-life people are okay.

And was hoping this’d be a vehicle to propel Takeshita.  Maybe he’d start.  The only person it really featured was Ibushi, and even then only briefly since it’s such a busy match.

Not my thing.

Winner: Golden Elite

 ________________________________________________________________

Next Collision:

• House of Black vs the Acclaimed & Billy Gunn (Trios Titles) (What a build!)
• More matches announced on Rampage

July 29th Collision:

• FTR vs MJF & Adam Cole (Tag Titles)

Thumbs Up/Down

• The entertainment value of MJF & Adam Cole
• Nice job building storylines & matches – Jericho/Callis, Jericho/JAS, FTR/MJF&Cole

 *****

• Perry and Hook didn’t feel remotely like a grudge match, lots of ref silliness too
• Blood & Guts was too, well, Blood & Guts

I’ll be putting up a more detailed thumbs up/down later today (Thursday).

Appreciate you reading.  Hope you’re enjoying the summer.