Venue: Bon Secours Wellness Arena, Greenville, SC

This’ll be my last review, at least for a little while, maybe longer.

It’s meant a lot people checking out my rants.  Genuinely, truly appreciate it.  None of my friends are into wrestling so it’s been cool to share thoughts here and get to know Colin.  Who I’d also like to thank for the opportunity and giving me total freedom to say what I think about the product.

And if there’s one thing I’d like us all to take away from the past couple years, it’s this…

Jeff Jarrett sucks.

Anyway, it’s Wednesday, and you know what that means…

*****

No intro, right to MJF’s music.  More cheers than boos.  He out, decked in a red jacket with a bunch of USA clobber, intro’d as the American champ.  Some boos as his music stopped but lots of folks chanting his name.

He put on a ‘hick’ accent – ‘what we call low-hanging fruit,’ noted Excalibur.  MJF said when he’s talking about America he’s damn sure not talking about South Carolina.  Said they were all meth addicts.  He’ll be busy talking to real America.

He spoke to the camera – we’re looking at the man who easily defeated the ‘red coat terrorist Will Ospreay’ and brought gold back to this great nation.  He’ll walk into enemy territory and beat Ospreay again.  He asked fans to rise for their American hero.

Ospreay’s music played instead, Max fled up the ramp as Ospreay slid in.  He said Max better keep running after what he said about his family last week.  He said he knows US fans love their flag but will refuse to acknowledge the American title because a ‘prick’ like MJF is holding it.

And the main reason they won’t is because MJF threw the International title in the trash like garbage.  Men have worked hard to give that title prestige – Pac, Orange, Mox, Fenix, Strong and himself (varying pops, Orange and Mox easily the best).  MJF doesn’t fit that criteria, forget the title not being worthy of MJF; MJF’s not worthy of it.

A brief ‘USA’ chant started, Will said he understood pride but Max doesn’t represent American pride or work ethic.  He vowed to restore honour to the American championship.

Max asked if fans liked Will, they cheered, he called them turncoats.  And said Ospreay won’t make it to Wembley because ‘in this shithole, everybody dies.’  Cue Archer’s music.

So why was Will fuming but then just stood and talked with Max about twenty feet away?  Again, this booking has the germ of a decent idea but it’s strange for the reasons noted last week – there aren’t enough shows in the UK to make this worthwhile.

Ospreay’s promo wasn’t great either, do fans really care about Max renaming a title (especially when he makes it the American title) or dumping one in the trash when there are so many?

They’re playing a dangerous game with their most popular face, and biggest heel fresh off a turn and still getting some cheers.

Will Ospreay vs Lance Archer

Backstory: You know the drill – Archer walloped a couple nobodies then challenged a big name

Archer quickly on top, running elbow in the corner, another, a third, Ospreay crumpling.  The announcers wondered whether Max had offered Archer some scrilla.  Fans chanted in support of Will so at least the patriotic angle hasn’t screwed that up.

As Ospreay hit back via corkscrew kick, working the crowd, space flying tiger meant to miss as Archer sort of caught him in a goozle, then slammed him to the mat.  Still outside, Archer weakly pounced him with the count high, but the Brit made it back in via springing legdrop as Archer re-entered, count of one.

A chokeslam left Will down.

Ads.

Ospreay flipped out of another, weak roundhouse, hook kick, cutter signaled, countered by Archer into a spinning slam for two.  Taz noted that it ‘might be’ an upset if Lance won.  A spinebuster got another two slaps.

A Spanish fly left both down, Will firing up, crowd with him; Archer stomped him down in the corner.  Then headed up seeking his rope-walk, Ospreay crotched him; Archer grabbed a goozle with both upstairs, Ospreay countered into a Spanish fly from up there for a near fall.

Oscutter, pin, kickout at 2.9.  Crowd really into that, up for this, Blade coming, countered by a lariat cause ‘good match.’  Screw momentum right?  Lariat got Archer two.  Rising knee strike in the corner, Blackout coming, Ospreay flipped through into a ddt, very weak Hidden Blade, Archer out at barely one.

A second, much cleaner one got the win.  Assuming they called an audible after that weak first effort, cause if this was booked for Ospreay’s finish to be kicked out of by a guy who never beats anybody…

‘One of Ospreay’s best wins,’ said Schiavone.  Taz agreed.

Least it didn’t go long like most AEW squashes.

Winner: Will Ospreay

MJF attacked from behind, readying a ring shot, Kyle Fletcher ran him off.  From the ramp, MJF demanded a mic.  A big tear in his jacket.  Fletcher got a mic too and told Callis (who’d come out) that Ospreay is his best friend, his brother, laying on the ground because of that ‘arsehole’ MJF.

Fletcher said Max didn’t care about America, only himself.  And heard what Max said about foreign wrestlers (which was?).  But he dreamed of coming to America because this is where the best wrestler.

He speaks for Australia, the UK and the fans in the arena when he says we’re sick of the same old MJF bullcrap (I mean, dude only turned like two weeks ago?  Overdramatic?).  He demanded Max hit the ring.  Max pretended he would then said no.  Tony called him a coward.

Max said Fletcher doesn’t call the shots, he does.  He’ll give him a match on his time, Dynamite next week.  And if he thinks Wembley last year was bad, he’s going to kangaroo kick his face off (didn’t he vow no more of them?) and leave him as bad as he did Garcia.

He’ll leave him bloody and it’ll be Ospreay’s fault, for that ‘you can thank me later.’

Kyle was like nine levels too fired up here.  They’re really going out of their way to try to stop Max getting patriotic cheers.  Almost as though, if you have to go to such lengths, the story isn’t well-defined enough.

This would all be so much easier if he’d named it the Long Island title or something.

*****

Swerve package over a hip-hop beat.  And the clip of him saying Wembley will be Danielson’s final countdown.

Ads.  They need to start heating that up.

*****

Jericho stuff from last week replayed, then he was backstage with ‘Al Scoops.’  Droning boos.  Bill had brought Jericho a cake for 102 days as FTW champ.  He said 100 days was good but 102 was ‘next level.’  Nice line.

‘Hi guys,’ Jericho said cakes always end up in someone’s face but the only face getting smashed is Shibata after last week (then laughed so incredibly falsely that we might as well have been told this is all fake).

He knows Shibata’s all alone, Bryan Keith’s going to take him out next week on Dynamite.  Keith ordered Marvez to eat the cake to show respect to Jericho.  Marvez ate some icing.

*****

Stat came out, not only did we get no recap of her and Willow’s feud, they spent the entrance continuing to talk about Jericho and Hook.

Kris Statlander vs Willow Nightingale (Eliminator)

Backstory: Stokely last week sportingly challenged for an eliminator r/t a title match

Stat was hesitant to enter but snapped Willow across the top rope.  It is almost literally silent.  The challenger hit a shotgun off the top then wailed away in the corner.  But missed a corner charge, Willow chops and slaps, corner splash, Stat got a sunset flip to counter a spinebuster, in and out of pins, a Willow fisherman got two.

Stat bailed outside, Willow followed, drubbing Statlander round ringside.  Until missing a cannonball against the barricade.  Heel on top…

Ads.

Willow reversed a suplex, wrist clutch lariats made me miss Jamie Hayter, spinebuster for two.  Nightingale fought off a powerbomb with blows to the back but Stat countered a pounce, Willow on her shoulders, electric chair, axe kick, barely two.

Stat tried to get Willow on her shoulders again, slap fight on the apron as Excalibur jammed in the announcement of Britt vs Mone at Wembley.  Sure makes that feel big.

Willow hit a nasty dvd on the apron then snatched up Stokely.  For a big pop.  Allowing Stat to recover pretty damn quickly and hit a lariat.  But be caught into a sort of powerbomb after leaping off the top, looked like she landed a little short.  Willow got two.

They fought upstairs, Stat fought her off and hit a 450 for a very near fall.  Stokely handed Stat a chain (they at least did it in a way to not make Aubrey look dumb, but then she was enthralled by Stokely hitting the apron so forget that).  Stat hit the shot and won.  Zero reaction to any of it.

Incredibly quiet for a match with a feud behind it and at least one character who’s had tv time.  Fine while it lasted.

Winner: Kris Statlander

Stokely grabbed a chair and handed it to Statlander.  She nailed Willow across the back.  Whole lotta angles like this lately.  Stat held the chair comically high above her head as security came out since she was clearly dead set on continuing to use the chair.

Aubrey helped Willow to the back, heels celebrated.

Titles, titles, titles…

*****

Repeat of last week’s Danielson/Jarrett segment.  Gotta get ‘J-A-double R’ on the show.

*****

Danielson out.  Has some work to do to heat this match up.

Loud ‘yes!’ chants from the crowd.  He cheap popped the crowd.  And acknowledged the fact.  But added that he means it cause he and Brie got their engagement pictures taken there.

A ‘Brie’ chant started.  He said the two were just looking through those pictures.  And said you don’t realize the good ol’ days until they’re almost gone.  Fans chanted ‘no!’  He’s here to talk and present and promises.

He was forced to retire early so was able to be present when he returned and take in the ‘good ol’ days,’ his three years in AEW have been the ‘funnest’ time of his career.  When he came out here he was able to be present and take in the crowd.  Loud ovation, he paused to take it in and showed goosebumps on his arm, a ‘thank you Bryan’ chant started.

He paused and shook his head.  And said there are moments he’ll never understand, he thanked the fans and said he was able to be present for it.

Before moving onto promises.  He promised his daughter and family that when she was seven he’d stop full time and his AEW contract would be the last he’d sign.  And the contract ends tomorrow (shocked fan reaction to that should tell Tony Khan how little the average fan is on the internet).

He thankfully cut off a weird ‘you deserve it!’ chant.  By saying when he came to AEW he vowed to kick heads in and win the AEW title.  And he’s only done one of those things.  ‘I have not won the AEW championship…yet.’

He said this will be his last shot.  At the biggest show of the year.  Doctors are telling him he shouldn’t wrestle.  His family don’t want him to.  But he promised to go to Wembley and be present, give us everything he has, give us 100% percent.  ‘With my mind, body and soul I will go all in.’

Swerve’s music interrupted.

Nana got the ‘house’ chants going.  Danielson barely flicked a finger and sparked a response.  Swerve said he respects the hell out of him.  The way he inspired young wrestlers to pursue their dreams, him included.  In any other situation he’d be rooting for him.

‘But this is Swerve Strickland’s time.’

When he came to AEW he said he’d win the title.  And did.  Danielson vowed to become champ and never did.  ‘This is not an achievement award… this here belt is something that shows beyond a shadow of a doubt you’re the best in the world, and I am the best in the world (he fired up here).’

Danielson challenged Ospreay and lost, Swerve beat him.  Danielson lost to the Elite, Swerve’s team beat them last week (first mention of B&G all night).  Last year he competed at All In while Danielson was too broken down to get on a flight to London.

And since Danielson wants to be in the moment, they should do that.  He took off his shades and promised Danielson that he’s the most dangerous man in AEW and that Danielson won’t walk out as champ.  In fact, after Swerve’s done with him he may never walk again.

Danielson said he had one more promise.  He promised that if he didn’t win the title, he’ll never wrestle again.

‘Your title vs my career at All In, Swerve, whatdya say?’  They shook hands.  Swerve said that’s very noble, but he shouldn’t keep the promise to him, he should keep the one to his family.

Either Danielson’s really so banged up that he can’t even be a part-timer or more likely he’s winning.  Hate these sort of stips, usually give away a finish.  But really liked Swerve here: looked the part, talked the part, a heel if you want him to be; confident if you don’t.  Possibly I just saw him as a face since this is the first proper feud he’s had as champ that I actually want him to win.

Danielson though, didn’t do enough.  Why does he want the belt?  What would it mean?  Would he go out on top?  Would it change his plans to retire?  What being ‘present’ had to do with anything is anyone’s guess.  Swerve rightly said the title’s not a lifetime achievement award; Danielson challenging for it sure makes it feel like one.

*****

We raced to Renee backstage.  Danielson walked past.  Jarrett and his goons ran up clapping.  Danielson cut them off, dead serious, and challenged Jeff next week on Dynamite.

Where the best wrestle old men.

Conglomeration vs Beast Mortos, Roderick Strong & Rush

Backstory: Strong’s still trying to recruit Kyle or something

Heels all out to Strong’s music; faces all out to Briscoe’s.  Weird considering Orange is a much bigger star.    The other four brawled outside, Orange used his jacket as a bull rag, leading to Mortos charging him a couple times then Orange whirling around and around him like a tornado ddt without the ddt.

As Taz, on air, complained about Orange ‘stealing my spots.’

Ishii and Mortos got to fighting, Ishii won, Rush came in, Callis is on comms.  Ishii ran through Rush with a shoulder, Rush no-sold (Taz used those words) then hit a shot to the spine.  A rolling elbow knocked Ishii outside.  So Briscoe entered.  Buncha chops.  This is already tired.  Guy comes in, guy goes out…

Rush hit a corner splash, Briscoe no sold and hit a leaping forearm, Rush outside.  Which meant it was time for the next contestant so Strong stopped Briscoe’s chair-propelled flip.  Briscoe fought him off and hit it to all the heels.

Ads.  If you like rules, consistency, structure, count-outs or non-formulaic matches, this won’t be for you (admittedly most of those things don’t sound all that fun out of context).

Laughably, we then returned to Excalibur calling Orange the ‘legal man.’  As two heels, Rush and Mortos, were both constantly in there with him.  He hit stundog to Mortos but Rush grabbed his leg till the tag to Briscoe.

Kung-fu for all till Strong tagged in, tried a cheap shot, Ishii in, for the millionth time in two weeks a Japanese dude no sold a bunch of offense.  Germans for Rush and Mortos, both in without tags, hurling German for Strong, landing in the corner.  Schiavone said the Conglomeration were ‘one hell of a tandem…’

They all hit offense to Strong but the other heels shoved everyone into the pin to break it.  Mortos hit a dive, then caught Orange, Rush milked it for ages before hitting a tope onto both.

Ishii and Strong back in, Strong hit a tiger driver for a near fall.  Tags to Mortos and Briscoe, Rush flung Briscoe into the buckle, everyone took out everyone, ending with Briscoe looking for a Jay Driller on Mortos.

Rush broke it up, Mortos pinned Briscoe after a driving dvd.  Lose, lose, lose, lose, pins Mark Briscoe?  Callis said this was all part of the plan.

Hi, longtime viewer of two of your three weekly shows, why is Callis with these guys?

Winner: Beast Mortos, Roderick Strong & Rush

Acclaimed and Billy Gunn.  Gunn said they’re coming to Collision.  Max said they’d come to FTR’s region looking for them but FTR were running scared of the best wrestler alive and B&G MVPs.  He called the south ‘simple folk’ and FTR cowards.

Bowens agreed with the latter.  They’ll show up Saturday and the fans will too cause everyone loves the Acclaimed.  Then did their latest line: ‘it’s time to nut up or shut up,’ with that weird overintensity he’s been all about lately.

These dudes are so unlikeable.

*****

Renee with Mariah May in a sit-down.  May was posed casually with her feet over the arm of the chair: ‘Go on, ask your questions.’  She said it’s all been very clear, she gained Toni’s trust and love, then sliced her open and wore her skin.  ‘What do you not understand?’

May was again speaking in that cold, slow cadence some folks didn’t like a couple weeks back.

Toni Storm always said the business will eat you alive but now it’s May’s turn to eat.  She got in Renee’s face and interrupted a second question by saying she’s not answering any more.

Nice, cold, detached persona.  Wish these sit-downs would for once go more than one question.  They kept it vague again about the hows and the whys.

*****

Storm came out, painted up like last week, kinda like the Joker.  She yelled loudly and crazily that she loves Mariah and that at All In it’ll be the romance of a bloody lifetime.  While hitting herself and chucking things.

Who’d have thought Toni’s actually been conservative in her acting for most of the past year?

*****

They played footage of Britt and Mone being separated at Comic Con.

Mone’s music played, she led Kamille to the ring.  Both in all black.

Kamille vs Britney Jade

Backstory: NONE

Kamille smashed Jade in the corner then hit a really nice leaping knee/leg lariat.  Mone laughed at ringside as Kamille won quickly.

Winner: Kamille

Mercedes entered, held up Kamille’s arm then asked Greenville to say hello. And welcome the newest member to ‘Money Corporation,’ Kamille.  She said Kamille is called ‘The Brick House.’

Britt’s taken things too far with her constant harassment and attacks.  It’s like she’s obsessed.  But who isn’t obsessed with the CEO.  Her EVPs have had Britt banned tonight and Baker won’t break down this Brick House.

‘AEW is my house now.’  She’s about to turn the house into a mansion cause that’s how she rolls.  And at All In, she’ll end Britt’s career.

Some of it sounded a little rehearsed.  Wasn’t bad; wasn’t great.  Adding Kamille’s a nice part of the act.  The sort of thing an AEW female hasn’t really had since Britt had Hayter.

Excalibur remembered they had a first-time ever match coming up:

Hangman Page vs Darby Allin

Backstory: NONE

Left Dynamite 250 alone re: hot-shotting but just throwing this out with no build whatsoever is just bad planning and bad promotion.  Including a momentary graphic during the first match being the only mention here all night.  These are supposed to be two of your biggest stars.

All of which likely means we’re getting a really sucky finish.

Loud chant for Darby before the bell rang.  He remained down in the corner, staring.  Dueling chants as he ducked a couple lariats then used the ropes for an armdrag, dropkick sending Page outside.

Coffin splash caught, German on the mats, Darby down selling his shoulder.  Page grabbed a chair, following Allin up the ramp, the ref yelling and yelling about winning the match in the ring, while neglecting to count anybody out.  This allowed Darby to strike from behind then climb the entrance ramp and hit a coffin splash.

Ads.  Prayers up for count-outs in AEW.

Darby boots up in the corner, Page countered the stunner into his swinging choke drop, oooh from the crowd, boot to the spine.  Hangman aggressively raking the face, another dueling chant, front facelock, suplex, Darby landing on his feet, roll up and springboard cross body each getting two.

As the lights went out.

They came back up.  The two were now brawling at ringside.  That absolutely killed the crowd.  Page set steps up at ringside, Darby vaulted over but was caught in a cross body and driven against the post then slammed on the apron.  Pair of powerbombs on there.

A third.  Crowd still flat.  Apart from oohing briefly as Page launched Allin into the steps via fallaway.  Again, they’ve been outside for minutes, no count.

Ads.

Back to them battling atop the buckle, fallaway from up there, Allin crashing into the opposite buckle, all the way across the ring.  Crowd so quiet Excalibur had to use the ol’ ‘stunned into silence.’  As Page looked for a tombstone off the apron.  Allin slipped free then swept out Hangman’s legs, sending him crashing onto the steps.

Then went back inside and hit his bullet tope.  Schiavone screamed ‘Darby’s gonna hit the ropes!!!’ like you might react to someone jumping off a bridge.  Some fans paradoxically gave it the TiA chant before we returned to silence.

Till Darby began whipping Page with a belt.  The ref again impotent.  Darby hit a back elbow in the corner, code red, two.  He headed upstairs, they teased the Cody/Darby finish from years ago as Page caught a Coffin Splash into a sleeper, Allin bridging through for two.

Then tried a Buckshot; Page countered with a lariat of his own for two.  Powerbomb for the same.  Match feels slow and flat.  Sounds like an empty arena.  Page hit deadeye, holding on to hit a second.

Presumably at some point he gets cocky and Allin hooks a cradle.

He paused a long time, looking out into the crowd, then headed to the apron, taking ages before readying a Buckshot.  Allin collapsed just as Page was vaulting in.  Hangman grabbed him, flipped him to his feet, Darby got a roll up to win.

Yep.

Page went nuts.  Allin fled to the ramp and flipped Page off.  This sort of booking is what led to nobody being over in late-teens WWE.

Match didn’t come close to matching my very high expectations for it.  Not helped by that blackout, which murdered the crowd and is either part of a long-term story or a very embarrassing screw-up.

Winner: Darby Allin

They did something to push pretty much every ppv match.  Not sure any of it got me more into any of them.  Liked Swerve’s work.  Glad they haven’t totally forgotten Willow.  Hated Page losing.  Him and Swerve should feel on a Force/Object collision course.

Next Collision (5 Eastern):

• Darby, Briscoe & FTR vs Beast Mortos & Undisputed Kingdom

Next Dynamite:

• MJF vs Kyle Fletcher
• Jeff Jarrett vs Bryan Danielson

Check Out

• Nothing here grabbed me, admittedly the total failure to enforce rules, which I may have mentioned once or twice, made me grouchy

Appreciate you reading today and any time over the past couple years.  Hope you’re having a good week.