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Dynamite TV report for 08/31/2023

AEW Dynamite tonight comes to us from the NOW Arena in Chicago, Illinois.  After last week drawing 870,000 & 0.32 in the 18-49 demo.

Notha crazy few days huh?  Gonna be very interesting seeing how this crowd reacts if they think/know Punk’s not performing at All Out.  (Surprisingly didn’t hear a single chant all night.)

*****

Video package recapping All In before the show proper started.  Basically showing all the winners in very quick fashion.  Excalibur pushed the NOW Arena as the place where the original All In took place.  Then pushed the card.  Big pop for Eddie Kingston’s match.  Mox too.

Jon Moxley vs Komander

Backstory: None

Whose music kicked in seconds later.  The former champ clad in ‘DEATH JITSU’ gear.  And not remotely a heel.  The commentators tried to spin the tale that Komander’s a big Fenix fan so is seeking revenge on Mox.  Not buying.  Show don’t tell.

Mox booted him in the head as the bell rang, chops following as the crowd encouraged Moxley to ‘F him up’.  Komander got a thrust kick out of the corner, another, tejeiras takedown, Mox spilling outside, Komander pursuing him via cross body from the top.

Crowd now chanting for the Mexican.  Back in the ring, Mox raked the back (we missed the transition while they were replaying the cross body).  Komander fought back, landing a headbutt, sending Mox crashing to the mat but missed a Cancun tornado.  Mox followed up by releasing a suplex into a powerbomb.

Break.

Back to Mox with a facelock, looking for a piledriver, Komander blocked it then went Full Kidman, countering a powerbomb into a facebuster.  Also, both guys were bleeding.  Seriously.  The Mexican flung a parade of lariats, a single Mox palm strike bettered them but Komander nailed Mox with a leaping lariat and a hook kick.

Then targeted the knee to setup a short ddt.  Before hauling Mox onto his shoulders for a lungblower and two via the first pin of the match.  Then walked the ropes into a shooting star; Mox got his knees up.  KKL next, piledriver following, two only.  An angry Mox right into H&A elbows, rear-naked sleeper, dead center, transitioning into the juijigitame.  Immediate tap.

Nice opener.  Komander’s really toned down the rope-walking and turns out he’s pretty good.

Winner: Jon Moxley

Orange Cassidy video package.  He insisted he’ll keep defending his title whenever and wherever he has to.  After Sunday people might think he’d take a break.  But instead he’s facing Penta tonight and Mox Sunday.  He’s not the same Cassidy from when the company started and he’ll show Mox why at All In.

Standard stuff.

*****

Footage of the Bucks being interviewed after their loss to FTR.  Matt was sore and pissed.  Nick was disappointed (both Bucks’ acting here was much better than last week).  FTR came in to ask about the handshake.  The Bucks said they were upset in front of the fans and regretted not shaking.  Matt stood up to say FTR were the better team and etc. when BCG walked in from seemingly the other side of the room.

White said they were on the winners side of the room.  He mocked the Elite all losing at All In then challenged the Bucks and FTR to an eight-man at All Out.  Or maybe Cash challenged them.  They both seemed to.

White said the BCG would be left standing.

Of course it was instantly made official.  Not that I’m complaining about seeing that.  If they’re going to just throw matches on the ppv with no story, at least this one’s interesting and should be good action.

(The show has a much nicer pace so far.  I feel like I’ve taken everything in.)

*****

Footage of the women’s match from Sunday, focusing on Saraya winning and the Outcasts’ issues.

Cut to Renee with Toni Storm who looked exhausted and hungover.  She said she was very happy for Saraya but Saraya went ‘off script’ (she meant this from the perspective of her character, she wasn’t ‘shooting’).  She can’t trust her or Ruby or Shida or Britt and the referee should be sacked.  ‘Wembley went tits up’.  Renee kind of pushed hers forward and nearly cracked.  Essentially, Storm had a breakdown and threw her shoe from off camera.

This bitwas fun at first.  It needs to evolve.

(Btw, ‘tits up’ means ‘gone wrong’.  Not a clue why.)

*****

Chris Jericho out.  Am I the only one who is so f****** sick of hearing Judas?  The fans chanted his name since he’s at least nominally a babyface.  Jericho said we should be ‘happy and festive’ after All In weekend.  He said it was one of the best weekends of his career.  He pushed the number of tickets – ‘and that number is ‘shoot’ baby’.

He called his match with Ospreay ‘one of my favorites’.  (Is this for a documentary or something?  He had a great weekend and a match he lost is one of his favorites!?)

He said what he did regret about the weekend was how he’d treated his ‘brother’ Sammy Guevara.  Guevara came out, there was a weak ‘Sammy’ chant before Jericho took the mic to apologize profusely.  He hadn’t been sure Sammy had done everything he could to help Jericho but when he’d watched it back he saw Sammy use the bat on Ospreay.  Then apologized again, extending his hand.  Guevara shook it and said he always has his back.  ‘A little push isn’t gonna break us up’.

Jericho carried on, wondering about how he’d lost the match and what he could’ve done differently.  Slipping in that Sammy maybe could’ve hit Ospreay harder with the bat.  Sammy cut him off.  To say that he thought Jericho should’ve hit the Judas Effect harder.  Jericho apologized again but said sometimes Sammy didn’t do things exactly the way he envisioned it.

Sammy said he’d left his pregnant wife at home to have Jericho’s back.  Jericho said there were plenty of people who’d have killed to be in London.  Sammy said if he wasn’t so busy watching Jerichos back, he might’ve wrestled on it.  Jericho said if he followed his advice he’d be on it next year.

Sammy said he could follow all his advice except not lose on the biggest show they’d ever done.  Jericho said Sammy should’ve beaten MJF when he had the chance.  Guevara said Jericho became AEW champ four years ago.  But lost the belt outside a steakhouse (that’s a true story btw).  ‘Some champion’, he cracked.

Jericho said they both needed to cool down and not say something they’d regret.  They should get back to what they do best.  They should reunite the Sex Gods and go after ‘what we’ve rightfully earned’, the AEW tag titles.  Next week they’ll start that path.  What does Sammy say?  Guevara shook his hand.  The crowd started booing as soon as Jericho mentioned going after the tag titles.

They left together.  Jericho also playing will he/won’t he at the same time as Cole/MJF is overkill.  And his comments about his All In match were weird.  Nor does it seem he’s appearing at All Out.

*****

Moxley backstage with the other BCC members.  At All Out, he’ll face the winner of Penta/Cassidy.  And the three of them have something in common, they don’t talk too much.  They don’t bark.  And the winner this Sunday ‘will be the wrestler with the biggest bite’.

Not close to enough to build a match from one show.  Tough to blame Mox though when he has to pretend he doesn’t even know who he’s facing so can’t get specific.

Eddie Kingston vs Wheeler Yuta (NJPW Strong Title)

Backstory: Part of the ongoing BCC/Kingston & co feud

As usual, AEW adds a title defense which only makes the result inevitable while adding no value to the match.  Kingston got a nice pop from what sounds a very small crowd.

And was bandaged round the head.  Again, the crowd asked Eddie to ‘F him up’.  As he wrestled Yuta to the mat.  Yuta pushed him to the corner and disrespectfully slapped his face.  Kingston caught him up top with a big chop but took a single-arm ddt from the buckle.  Immediately selling his arm after; Yuta targeted it.

Mox and Claudio were shown watching backstage.

Kingston tried a chop but hurt his arm again, Yuta again went after it, hitting a leaping single-arm.  Ads.

Yuta sent Wheeler outside then hit a tope before flinging the youngster back in and firing machine gun chops in the corner, exploder out of it, count of two.  Yuta blocked the Uriken, took an enziguri but slipped back in thru the ropes to bag two via German.

To the top, Kingston got his knees up to block a splash, Saito suplex, another two.  He tried to shake the blood back into his arm, Yuta blocked a waistlock by striking the arm and bagged a close count before stomping away.

Succeeding only in pissing off Kinston who fired up, to his feet, stiff chops, a third blocked as Yuta again worked the injured arm, firing H&A elbows to it then to Kingston’s face, Eddie dropping, firing up again, to his feet again, half & half suplex after a duck under, Uriken, Yuta stayed on his feet, Eddie hit another to retain.

Pretty good given its length and the ad break.

Claudio appeared at ringside, his belt over his shoulder.  He dismissively wouldn’t even look at Eddie as he helped Yuta to the back.  The announcers talked about how Kingston felt Claudio had never respected him.

The crowd chanted again for Kingston.

Winner: Eddie Kingston

Recap of all the Cole/MJF stuff from Sunday, both matches.

Then footage showing the two after the match.  Cole came in to apologize.  Max cut him off – good naturedly – to say he’d nearly broken his neck and made him wrestle too much.  Then ran through a ton of stuff faster than Excalibur could.  Something about defending their ROH tag titles Sunday and him defending his AEW title at Grand Slam.

Until then he’s going to France for the week.  Cole said he deserved a break.  They left on good terms.

Speeding through all that wouldn’t be good enough a month out.  When it’s all the build we get, it’s a joke.  And if the bloody Kingdom are their opponents Sunday, it’s a very bad one.

*****

Renee with Sammy Guevara.  Don Callis interrupted to ask whether it was hard dealing with ‘a sociopath’.  He then said he’d ‘just heard’ Sammy was pregnant and congratulated him.  Guevara got right in his face and told him to ‘get lost’.

Callis is so brilliantly full of crap.

*****

There’s a battle royal thing that will take place Friday.  The winners face Max & Cole Sunday.  And there’s another tournament…  Another tournament…  Another.  Tournament.  The winner will face MJF at Grand Slam.

*****

Adam Cole came out to probably the best pop so far.  Cole said one of the best stories ever took place Sunday.  He thanked everyone for making that the most special night of his life.  In total contrast with Callis, he sounded completely genuine.

But the night wasn’t quite perfect.  Because he lost.  And that hurt really bad (bit of a contrast with Jericho).  But at some point he’ll get another shot.  Moving on to MJF, he said Max’s neck is banged up but he’ll be ready for Sunday.

‘ADAAAAM’ interrupted him.  Several times.  Muted boos as the Kingdom and Roderick Strong marched to the ring.  Strong confronted him about being more concerned over MJF’s neck than his.  Cole said this was getting ridiculous.  Strong must be listening to ‘these guys’.

Mike Bennett objected to the term ‘these guys’.  The crowd booed in a way that said ‘go away’ and chanted ‘STFU’.  Bennett talked about them getting each other jobs with a match in 2010.  ‘We did everything together’.  Cole hosted his bachelor party.  The crowd kept ‘What?’-ing.

Cole cares too much what the fans think and forgot what the Kingdom means to him.  Cole tried to talk.  Taven cut him off.  Saying he used them to take over ROH then left for the Bullet Club and ‘Florida’ to get money and titles.  Taven said Cole’s ‘the same leech you’ve always been’.

And now he’s doing that to MJF.  Taven said Cole only cares about himself even though there were tons of people with him along the way.  The crowd chanted ‘STFU’ again.  Cole said he’s very sorry if he made them feel that way.  They used to be very close.  But these guys need to accept that MJF’s his best friend.

Strong said he can’t accept that so he’s going to enter the Grand Slam tournament and beat MJF for the title with his real friends by his side.  Cole told him that was a ‘horrible’ idea since Strong’s neck was hurt.  Strong said Cole was finally pretending to care.  And he didn’t need to cheat or have a neck at 100% to win the title.  He called himself a ‘wrestling legend’.

They all threw their mics down and left.  Gotta use that precious tv time to highlight your big stars.  Especially days before a ppv.

The usual booking shortcuts.  They still didn’t really explain what the Kingdom is.  Despite good promo work by Taven & Bennett, it didn’t matter because they’ve been presented as absolutely nothing.  You can’t have guys disappear into obscurity for a year then suddenly throw them out there on tv and expect fans to care.

*****

Penta promo.  It’s just business with Cassidy but Moxley injured his brother.  Alex Abrahantes said it’s ironic that the same place the Lucha Bros won the tag belts is the same place Penta will win his first singles gold.

Seems the dude has about the same grasp on what that word means as Alanis Morisette.

He was out there scouting Mox (he managed Komander) and made note of some weaknesses.  Meaning the new champ will have… ‘Zero Miedo’.

Statlander, Shida & Baker vs Sakura, Rose & Shafir

Backstory: None

Excalibur said no-one was hotter in the women’s division than Statlander.  It might be true; if it is, it’s a sad statement about said division.  On the subject, the former two-time champ Shida got about three bars of her entrance music before Britt got her whole theme.

The heels all came out together.  Gee, whoever’s gonna win?

Sakura attacked before the bell, Shida struck back with a nice hurracanrana and ten punches in the corner.  Then a missile dropkick off the middle rope.  Before tagging Baker.  Who hit a slingblade for two.

Nyla nailed her in the back with the ref distracted, bringing in Shafir to hit kicks then a judo throw before tagging Rose.  To choke Britt with her boot.  Sakura back in to nail a big chop then drag Baker to the heels’ corner as the ads arrived.

Back to the TBS champ coming in with a big boot then wailing on Shafir.  She got Marina on her shoulders then dropped her face-first.  Landing looked like it sucked.  Rose and Sakura came in to hit a double team slam.

Shida entered but caught a superkick from Britt when the heels ducked.  Apparently it was the second miscommunication between the two so I must’ve missed something, apologies.  Statlander fought all the heels off then headed upstairs to dive onto all the other five.  She then hit her piledriver on Shafir to win.

Baker and Shida were arguing outside.  Ruby Soho hit No Future on Statlander from behind then ran.  Taking the TBS title with her.  Though left it on the ramp.  Statlander was so annoyed at this that she posed with the other babyfaces.

Winner: Statlander, Shida & Baker

They did a Shane Taylor package.  Who is seemingly an ROH guy.  It was pretty good promo work but I don’t know who he is.  That’s twice in as many promo segments I’ve written that.

He’s facing Joe at All Out for the ROH TV title.  I also shouldn’t have to use the ‘is this a joke?’ line twice re: the build for the last show before a pay-per-view but here we are.

*****

Callis and Takeshita were backstage reviewing footage of the match from Sunday.  Callis kept telling Takeshita to hit the Blue Thunder Bomb and strikes to the neck, showing him where Omega was weak via X-Rays of his knees and neck.  Then said if all that fails… there’s the screwdriver.

This was very good.  It was original, it was serious, it promoted the match.  Takeshita’s heel body-language is excellent.

*****

The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn came out.  Caster made fun of Donald Trump’s mugshot.  Bowens was in a new basketball-style outfit.  Unfortunately, sixty-odd year-old Billy Gunn was too.

There was a podium setup.  And a big pink ribbon.  They made penis jokes about the size of scissors.  Billy cut the ribbon.  Bowens said there’s a new era in the trios division.  He welcomed us to the ‘House of Ass’.

Where they wear pink.  So they have new pink belts too (the leather not the face).  The straps ‘scissor’ together too.  They made more sex jokes re: scissoring.  On Collision they’re going to defend their titles against Tekno Team 2000 & the Goon.  I kid but I’m probably not far off based on tonight’s show.

They did the ‘scissor me’ line then left.

Seriously?  They’re not even trying to build the match by announcing their opponents?  This was their last promo segment to push anything at all for a pay-per-view and they did this?  No Omega response?  No mention of former world champions Hangman or Jericho doing anything?   Tv time sure is cheap tonight.

*****

A bunch of undercard teams promised to win the battle royal Friday.  Cannot wait to see who’s definitely going to lose to Cole and MJF.

Orange Cassidy vs Penta El Zero M (International Title)

Backstory: Winner faces Mox Sunday in a match for which Cassidy’s already been announced

Penta came out in red again after finishing the match Sunday that way.

Ads.

Cassidy out after the break.  The crowd split since the Bros are always particularly over in Chi-town.  The two came together mid-ring, Penta did ‘Zero Miedo’ and pie-faced Cassidy like he was Jack Perry.

Cassidy responded, provoking a rapid-fire exchange of moves, counters, ducks and dodges leading to both kipping up at the same time.  Unable to be separated.  Cassidy went for the pockets, Penta blocked, Cassidy took him down by the arm, got the pockets, landed an armdrag, Penta fled outside, catching Cassidy mid-tope before press-slamming him across the barricade.

Barely a couple minutes in, we went to another break.

Back to Cassidy kicking out at two, propelling Penta outside then hitting an elbow suicida.  But leaping off the stairs into a thrust kick then being drilled by a dive.  Back inside, Cassidy got his feet up in the corner, Penta recovered to hit a legdrop for two.

Cassidy Flair-flipped to the apron, Penta brought him back in via suplex but Cassidy countered into Stundog Millionaire then a tornado ddt.  For nearly three.  Fans chanting for the champ as he headed upstairs, Penta hit a thrust kick to trip him then a running punt with Cassidy laying waist-first atop the buckle.  And added a backstabber out of the corner for another two.

And another break.  It’s a damn shame cause the action’s good but keeps being broken up.

Penta hit a thrust kick as Orange came off the ropes, Cassidy responded in kind then took a slingblade as Penta got another two.  Planting Orange with another thrust kick for two.  They’re really emphaszining Cassidy’s injured arm/hand.

And on cue Penta began working toward the arm-breaker.  Orange used his pockets to block it then shook free.  Penta decided he’d stand still and let Cassidy hit his deliberately weak shots.  (Normally that’s fun and all but it’s the middle of a hard-fought, very close title match).  Both hit destroyers, Cassidy hit a third, crowd going crazy, both guys stumbling about but not down despite those moves.

Penta countered a Punch into Made in Penta for another close call.  TiA chants.

Cassidy countered a piledriver into a sloppy Beach Break for two, Penta again blocked a Punch, nailing the injured hand via thrust kick and looking for the arm-breaker again.  Cassidy got the ropes.

They fought on the apron, Penta hit another thrust kick, Cassidy blocked Fear Factor but Penta hit at the second attempt, rolled the champ inside, Cassidy got the rope break at 2.9.  Penta finally landed the arm-breaker, ‘Zero Miedo’, Fear Factor, Cassidy again kicked out, Penta was shocked at this, allowing Cassidy to roll him up to retain.

Very fun match.

Orange demanded a mic and a chair to sit in.  Since he’s exhausted and sore.  Every time he defends, the title feels heavier.  But he’s here, he’s wrestling because the belt means everything to him.  It’s what AEW is.  It’s a place for guys who were told they wouldn’t make it.

There’s nothing anyone can do to take his title from him.  Mox better bring more than just a fork.  He’ll always be the International Champ.  ‘Because I’m Orange Cassidy, and I do not have a catchphrase’.

Some people’ll hate that, I really like how well Cassidy thinks about his character and does little things like that.  The rest of this was a pretty good serious promo putting over the title.

Mox then hit the ring, Cassidy threw a punch and again sold his injured hand.  Moxley left, the two jawed.  Guess the International Title is now main-eventing pay=per-views.  Who’d a thunk?

Winner: Orange Cassidy

I know Tony Khan said tonight’s show was impacted by some people being sick.  Just didn’t realize he was the one with the fever.  There’s a damn good chance Grand Slam will have a better card than All Out.

 ________________________________________________________________

Next Collision:

  • Outcasts (yep, still together apparently) vs Britt Baker, Kris Statlander & (I assume Shida, didn’t catch the last person)
  • Jay White vs Dax Harwood
  • Acclaimed & Billy Gunn vs Daniel Garcia & 2.0

Added to All Out:

  • Bullet Club Gold vs FTR & Young Bucks
  • Jon Moxley vs Orange Cassidy (International Title)
  • Kris Statlander vs Ruby Soho (TBS Title)
  • BtYBB vs Winners of battle royal (ROH Tag Titles)
  • Shane Taylor vs Samoa Joe (ROH TV Title)

Thumbs Up/Down

  • Penta vs Cassidy
  • Moxley vs Komander
  • Callis & Takeshita’s strategy session

 *****

  • It did not feel remotely like a big show was just days away
  • With the caveat that illness and hurricanes apparently affected the show, this was a very weak lineup full of predictable finishes
  • Saraya’s the new champ and a babyface out of nowhere. And didn’t even appear on the show
  • A lot of very valuable tv time was taken up promoting stuff that isn’t occurring Sunday

Appreciate you reading.  Have a good week.

 

 


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Paul Hemming
Paul Hemminghttps://h00kedon.weebly.com/
Paul Hemming got into AEW during the pandemic, lives in Liverpool, England, and is a huge Liverpool fan, Playstation player and history lover.

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