AEW Dynamite tonight comes to us from the UBS Arena on Long Island, NY, home of my favorite beverage.  After last week drawing 833,000 & a 0.28 in the 18-49 demo.

Tying the second-lowest viewership this year.

Poor Dante, man.  Haven’t seen it; don’t want to.  Sounds absolutely gruesome.

Also, thoughts to Kip & Penelope who revealed a miscarriage last year.  No-one should have to go through that.

*****

Juice Robinson vs Ricky Starks

Backstory: Robinson attacked Starks a few weeks back and has been taunting him since

Excalibur reached immediately for hyperbole – describing this as ‘a huge grudge match’.

Starks out first to a nice response, the Bullet Club followed, only it wasn’t Juice.  Half of 2.0 will need a new gimmick because the real Switchblade is All Elite!

Receiving a huge response from the crowd, White sprinted the aisle as Robinson attacked from behind.  Leaving Starks laying, the two hugged, the crowd chanting ‘Holy S’.  Blocking the Left Hand of God, Starks briefly fought back, it didn’t last, a BladeRunner Starks’ goodnight kiss.

Again, no messing around from AEW, right to a big angle to begin the show.  Guess some will complain they didn’t get the promised match.  A debut like this to continue and enhance the angle surely overrides such quibbles.

The commentators really talked up the signing of White, his impact and on ‘one of the biggest nights in AEW history’ to boot as they ran down the card.

Winner: No contest

Straight to a recap of Adam Cole’s return bout last week, including the friction with Jericho.  Who was backstage with Schiavone.  A very serious Jericho put over Cole – he returned, got the win, got the girl, the streamers, but it went ‘on, and on, and on’.  As Daniel Garcia lay there beaten, making him look ‘a piece of trash’.

Keith Lee interrupted to say no-one disrespected others more than Jericho.  He has respect for Cole, even if he doesn’t like him.  Next week in Milwaukee, he promised to teach Jericho about respect as a shook Jericho backed away then slumped off without saying another word.

House of Black vs Best Friends & Orange Cassidy, Trios Titles

Backstory: Malakai/Brody & Best Friends fought to a no-contest Friday, then the champs beat-down their opposition tonight

Jay White’s already a company man, ensuring Orange Cassidy has the opening match on Dynamite.

The faces arrived courtesy of ‘Sue’ (Trent’s mum).  Drawing a pop from the crowd and chants of ‘Sue’; groans from yours truly.  Corny.

Beretta & Malakai kicked us off, wrestling on the mat, each targeting the arm, up into a fist fight, each now targeting the midsection until Black slipped behind to roll Trent up for two then popped up to eat a leaping double-knee strike.  Taylor in, Malakai fought off both Friends then took Chuck to the HOB corner.  Big Brody in.

Running through Chuck with shoulder blocks until missing a senton, eating an enziguri, tagging Matthews to a cheer from the crowd, quick mat-work between he and Taylor ending with a tag out to Cassidy.

As Excalibur announced the BCC would now be in action tonight.

Orange flung his shades; a pissed Matthews flew at him: standing switches, Cassidy running the ropes, looking for the tornado ddt until Matthews muscled him up into a crucifix and dropped him across the buckle.

More Matthews please.

King sent the Friends packing, the House went to work on Cassidy until a six-man brawl broke out.  Cassidy elevated Malakai outside, got a boot up on Matthews, a hurracanrana sending Buddy outside as King crushed Trent against the rail with his running body splash.

Cassidy was then caught by the remainder of the House and dropped face-first against the apron; Trent too taking flight with the same result as he ate his neck-bump against the apron of the week.

Brody then wiped-out Beretta after the latter was launched up into a lariat.

After dispatching Black & Buddy outside, Orange ole’d Brody into suicide-diving onto his teammates, leaving the faces ruling the ring, Cassidy launched by the Friends onto all three as the BF’s hugged.

A triple-team chokeslam/powerbomb on Black bought a two count as La Faccion Ingobernables were shown watching at ringside – Rush, Vance, Dralistico.

(How do both the tag and trios scenes suddenly seem so empty?)

Starting with Cassidy missing the Punch, everyone took out everyone until Malakai avoided another Punch, Cassidy ducked Black Mass, standoff in the middle.  Cassidy launched the kicks, Black simply booted him in the face.  But saw a brainbuster countered into stundog millionaire, Trent up top, coming off with a dropkick to Buddy & Brody as Anna Jay was shown watching Julia Hart.

Black shook-off Beretta, fired a knee to the face but rebounded into a big lariat, a piledriver following, the vet popping up to catch Matthews off the top into another, until attempting a third on the Big Fella, the answer being no.  At first.

A Taylor distraction and Orange Punch later, Brody was ripe to be piledriven, Malakai breaking the pin at two.

Until another Punch sent Black outside, Matthews rolled up for two as Chuck got a pair of close calls; Matthews blocked half-&-half, curb stomp, 1, 2, 3.

A slow starter which was really good for at least the last two-thirds.  Nice to see Matthews getting some shine too.

The House posed with their belts.

Winner: House of Black

Christian Cage promo.  The vet stared into the camera from a room bathed in red as Luchasaurus appeared through the mist.

Yay, the dinosaur with a master’s degree is back.  The announcers wondered who their next targets would be.  As the show transitioned ever so smoothly into:

Jamie Hayter vs Riho, Women’s Title

Backstory: None

Both women received a nice response from the crowd.  Baker did join the champ, grabbing a pro-Hayter sign from the crowd as usual.

A Hayter handshake was a ruse, the champ looking immediately for Hayterade, Riho sliding behind to bag a quick two via roll-up.  A flying headscissors and snapping hurracanrana got another two for the challenger, the pair then transitioning in and out of pinfalls.

Until Hayter took over: a right leaving Riho down, a pair of shoulder tackles continuing the assault, a third, a fourth, a loose cover seeing Riho bridging out (never not cool) to rush at the champ with a dropkick, sending Hayter outside.

Where Riho followed, coming off the top via cross body.  Back inside, the challenger looked for the same again but was caught into a gutbuster for two.

Crowd quiet so far outside of an early Hayter chant.

Hayter thought belly-to-back, Riho slipped over, standing switch, Riho sent to the ropes, meeting the onrushing champ with a boot, sending her to the apron where Jamie avoided another, the pair looking for killer blows on the apron until Hayter struck via uranage.

Ooohs from the crowd as the ads arrived.

619 from Riho, to the top, cross body for two.  Northern lights blocked, the challenger slipped behind to dump Jamie via German, dragon suplex followed, another two.

After a brief lull, Riho missed a diving footstomp, rolling through only to be snatched into an off-the-shoulder neckbreaker, a diving lariat followed as the champ came close to retaining.

Then deposited Riho on the buckle as a duelling chant played.  Where she hit a superplex, rolling through up into an attempted brainbuster which Riho countered, spiking Jamie via pendulum ddt.  Very nice sequence, the crowd warming to the match.

Both down, fighting up from their knees, Hayter easily getting the better of a fistfight, a lariat and high-stack bagging another two slaps of the mat.  Before depositing Riho up-top once more, the challenger slumped but fighting back, slipping to the apron, still fighting until striking with a springboard hurracanrana which she made look oh so easy.

A brutal running knee strike followed, Riho collapsing into a cover as Hayter barely saved the belt with a foot on the ropes.  Seeking another dragon suplex, Hayter blocked it, Riho ducked Hayterade, attempting a backslide from which Hayter muscled her up to blast her with her finish.

Riho kicked out!  Got me there.  Was ready to write it was all over.

Shrieking, a frustrated Hayter hauled her up for a second Hayterade to bag the win.  Before bowing to and shaking the hand of her challenger.

This was good; Hayter’s had better.  A fairly cold crowd didn’t help, they were into the big moves but otherwise disengaged.

Winner: Jamie Hayter

To the back!  Renee was joined by the Outcasts.  They sarcastically applauded Hayter’s win, warning her not to get too attached as one of them will take the belt away.  Being good at her job, Renee pointed out that there was one title and three of them.

Saraya asked her to stop ‘stirring the pot’, they’ll ‘cross that bridge when we come to it’.  Agreeing, Toni said the important thing was that Hayter not be the champ any longer.

There didn’t seem to be any disunity yet.  It’d be really dumb if these girls were already infighting.

Continuing the shameless faction rip-offs, Saraya really peddled their new shirt a la HHH & Shawn after their mid-00s reunion.

*****

2.0 and Jake Hager were already on the stage as we panned to it.  Menard did his usual wanna know what gets my nipples hard? thing.  This week it was the fact that the Acclaimed are joining the JAS.

Boding poorly for the heels, the ex-champs zoomed right by them to carry out their customary rap.  Quickly confirming this: ‘You want us to join, but we can’t though, Jericho is full of more s*** than George Santos.’

Taking the mic, Parker said it sounded like the Acclaimed wanted a fight…’together!’  So he’s got the four a match on Rampage, ‘because everybody loves the Jericho Appreciation Acclaimed Society.’

Billy Gunn interrupted as Parker was requesting a scissor.  He and Bowens showed how it was done.

This’ lame as hell.  It needs to end, quickly.

Doesn’t seem to be doing too much to damage the Acclaimed’s popularity though.

To give the company some credit, presumably the heels are trying to setup the Acclaimed for a beatdown after spurning them rather than being this stupid.  Similarly, hopefully the Acclaimed won’t fall for it.

*****

They recapped Jay White’s debut.

*****

Before transitioning to a (deliberately) sappy clip of MJF getting the key to the city of Oyster Bay.  With Max playing total babyface.

A live Big Band then played him to the ring.  As he came out in a white tux to a nice pop but not an overwhelming one (suggesting this was either not a great crowd or not well mic’d).

Max then sang a song called Pennies from Heaven.  The entire song.  He’s a good singer but this is boring.  Hopefully there’s a payoff.

Excalibur asked Taz to go warm-up the car as he finished.  That was funny.

The crowd chanted ‘MJF’ as the Town Supervisor was introduced to loud boos.  Max asked the crowd not to boo.  If this guy is a real politician/civil-servant, he’s a pretty damn good performer.

As Taz said: ‘This Saladino’s got a future as a heel manager’.  Without the insider lingo would’ve been nice though.

After giving Max an even bigger key, Max took the mic to ask for a ‘you deserve it’ chant.  Noting that there are those who don’t deserve it.  Like Sammy, Darby and Jungle Boy.  The latter of whom’s only ever going to have a ‘girlfriend with a wandering eye and a tiny little penis.’

(They could do with explaining why Jungle Boy’s with the heelish Anna, even a very simple ‘she’s really hot and he can’t help himself’)

Max began to tell a story about his childhood and his ADHD.  Actually getting an ‘A.D.D’ chant.  Talking about an unsympathetic teacher who made fun of him, ‘Mrs Benedict’.

He paused to ask for the mic to be turned up, so perhaps that is a problem.

Everytime he drifted off in that class, he dreamed about wrestling.  The teacher told him he’d never become one but now he’s the champ.

Then had a phenomenal line, addressing the kids of Long Island, who if they worked hard enough could be anything they wanna be, ‘except one thing…me’ (said with an RVD thumb and a s***-eating grin).

Before hitting his usual closing line.  Or so it seemed.  He asked if the crowd wanted to hear an encore as a guy hit the cymbals right behind his head.  A guy whose face was covered.  Leading to MJF snapping at him until Jungle Boy unmasked, brawling with Max on the ramp, the crowd totally behind the champ.

Until the pair were separated by security.  Parted – fittingly enough – like the Red Sea, leaving the belt alone in the middle.  As Sammy Guevara’s music hit to boo’s.  He raised the belt high as the other two continued to be held back.

This was both way too long and proved MJF will be a spectacular babyface at some point.

If I wasn’t documenting it, I’d certainly have channel-hopped or checked my phone through the body of this.  Most of which didn’t really serve a purpose.  They could’ve easily done the song, asked for an encore, then gone to the angle.

Sammy Guevara vs Komander

Backstory: None

The above doubled as Guevara’s ring entrance.  Continuing some very slick transitions from one segment to the next tonight.  Nice production work.

Schiavone said he’d never been so glad to see Sammy.

No intro package for Komander such as that received by Vikingo.  Know absolutely nothing about him other than he runs the ropes.

Wiping him out instantly, Guevara launched a running knee strike, the pair played peek-a-boo, sliding in and out of the ring until Sammy hit a (presumably beautiful – the crowd ooh’d, the cameras missed it) springboard moonsault.

Heading to the top, Sammy very obviously dived off intending to be caught via thrust kick, allowing Komander to fly – walking the ropes into an exquisite shooting star press.  Sammy bailed outside, Komander walked the ropes from one buckle to the other before launching only to be hit with a thrust kick from Guevara.

Both down outside as the break beckoned.

Fighting up out of a chinlock, Komander fought free from a brainbuster to hit a tremendous springboard reverse-hurracanrana as Jack Perry was shown watching backstage – boos from the crowd.

Bagging two, Komander took to the ropes again, Guevara having headed outside, to hit another breathtaking dive which they caught with a very nice long shot, allowing us to see just how high he got.  Still landed perfectly.

Sammy back inside, Komander to the top once more, Guevara avoided another shooting star but was booted off the apron, returning inside to be struck via phoenix splash for another two count.

Topside once again, Guevara got the knees up on yet another rope-walk dive, into the GTH, he paused to trash-talk, Komander rolled him up for two but was hit with a thrust kick.

A stangely slow sequence saw Sammy hit with an enziguri atop the buckle, leaving him perched there, Komander heading to the opposite buckle as Darby Allin was shown watching from the rafters.

As Komander was mid-point between the buckles, Guevara sprang, snatching him into a cutter, then hitting the GTH for the win.

While there were some spectacular dives and moves here, didn’t like this much.

During Komander’s previous appearance in the ladder match, I wondered if there was anything else outside of rope-walking.  The answer appears to be no.  If this is all he’s got, the act’ll get tired quickly.

Reflected by the crowd-reaction diminishing each time he did it.

And while he’s a heel, out of all the challengers Guevara’s the most in need of credible wins leading up to a presumed title shot.  Shown by Excalibur really trying to put over his back-to-back wins tonight and last Friday.  And here, he was overrun for the majority of the match.

Joining Sammy in the ring, Schiavone said he should be in line for a title shot.  Snatching the mic, Guevara said he’d done what MJF never does – wrestle – then claimed he had Max ‘beat’ during their last match together until Shawn Spears clocked him with a chair.

Max’s ‘pillar’ wasn’t built by him, but by the people he used to get here.  Continuing Jungle Boy’s theme from last week, Guevara said at least he was true to himself.  But who is Max?  Running through all the alliances MJF’s been a part of, saying he sold his soul to get where he got.

Guevara then talked about building himself up match-by-match, pouring his heart and soul into what he does – ‘I love AEW’ –  he’s not using it to get anywhere else.  Finishing by saying screw the other three, he’ll be the AEW champion.

An irritated Max was shown backstage.

This was not a good segment.  The crowd couldn’t have cared less about Guevara.  It was a wandering promo.  And that’s before getting into the total mixed messaging of smug, smarmy heel playing company-first, hard-working babyface.

Though at least the three potential opponents are reiterating their commitment to the company.

Winner: Sammy Guevara

Ethan Page vs Hook, FTW Title

Backstory: Hook took out the Firm’s Stokely Hathaway; Matt Hardy manipulated Page into believing he can avenge his manager

The pair jockeyed for a bit until Page ate a T-Bone.  Bailing outside, he baited Hook into following, then flung him into the steps and ringpost.  Then prepared a Twist of Fate, saying it was for Matt.  Hook countered into one of his own.

Isiah Kassidy took the ref, Matt grabbed the FTW belt away from Page, drilling him with it, the ref still distracted, into Redrum as this ended quickly.

Hardy’s ‘Delete!’ drew more response from these fans than most things all night.

Hook dapped-up Hardy & Isiah as the three left.

Winner: Hook

Backstage to the newly signed Nigel McGuinness, with Tony Khan.  McGuinness said there were moments in his career where what seemed ‘impossible’ actually happened.  What Khan was about to announce is one such moment.

Khan said that five years ago, the Bucks, Kenny & Cody had put on a show called ‘All-In’.  Now, five years later, AEW will debut in London for another All-In on August 27^th.  He then brought in his official spokesman Adam Cole to announce it’ll be at Wembley Stadium.

The crowd in the arena sighed.

So this was the usual miserable anti-climax.  ‘Huge’ and ‘Very important’ announcements are designed to attract fans who don’t always watch the show.  The expectation being a big return or debut.  This didn’t even come close.

They could’ve very easily advertised this as a ‘big update on our UK debut’.

Overpromising and underdelivering on a regular basis is a surefire way to turn-off customers.

For those who might not know, Wembley’s capacity runs at least 70,000.

Jon Moxley, Wheeler Yuta & Claudio Castagnoli vs

Backstory: None

Bryan Danielson accompanied the rest of the BCC to the ring to the strains of Wild Thing.  At no point were their opponents named:

‘These three young men’.

This was over quickly and still went too long.  One of the ‘young men’ tapping to a Yuta crossface.

Continuing the beating afterward, Danielson got the mic, saying he loves his family, but also loves the other three in the BCC, ‘even if (Wheeler’s) a little s***head’.  And he loves professional wrestling.

The guys they just beat look like people the ‘EVP’s might’ve hired’ (do enough people know what that refers to?).  And the BCC look like the only pro wrestlers in the building.

As Hangman’s music hit to a nice pop.  Storming to the ring solo, Danielson called him ‘another amateur’ as Page threw himself at all four and was immediately beaten down.  BD continued to call him an amateur and the other BCC guys professionals.  Reiterating that he loves these men but nobody loves Page.

So nobody’s coming to save him.  And nobody did.

A few ‘CM Punk’ chants played in the crowd.  Presumably ironically.  As Danielson pulled out a screwdriver, then became the 1000^th wrestler to say AEW needs fixing, ‘from all these amateurs’.  Repeating the word over and over as Mox held Page in place.

BD gouged Page’s face with the screwdriver then ranted more about ‘amateurs’.

A good attempt to ruin a hot angle.  The crowd again barely cared.  In fairness, they’d had little to excite them in quite some time.

Winner: BCC

The Gunns vs FTR, Tag Titles

Backstory: If FTR lose, they’re done in AEW

Did you know that in tonight’s main event two very popular wrestlers, former tag champs in fact, might be forced to leave AEW if they lose?  If not, it’d be understandable, because this has had almost zero focus all night.

Loud ‘FTR’ chant, at least by this crowd’s standards.  The Gunns came out to 50 Cent’s Many Men, which much of the crowd chanted along with, the cool entrance a very strange way to introduce heels.

Excalibur put across how ‘cold’ FTR are amid their recent record of bad losses.

Wheeler and Colten kicked things off until Cash paintbrushed the youngster.  But ate a shoulder charge, then another until hurling his shoulder at Colten’s gut, launching uppercuts until tagging Dax.  Who got the first one-count all night after nice double-teaming.

Leaving Cash back in as the legal man.  A woozy Colten ducked outside but ate a baseball slide until Wheeler was dropkicked off the apron after Austin grabbed his foot.  After which the Gunns ran through him with a lariat/rising-knee combo.

Quick tags in and out by the heels; Cash in the wrong corner.

Briefly fighting back, he reached desperately for the tag but was cut off, eating a Rock Bottom as the ads arrived.

Returning just in time, Cash finally got the tag, Dax in to snap-off jabs, throw fists and line up uppercuts on both Gunns.  Ten of the best in the corner for Colten before Harwood leapt off onto Austin via cross body, into more shots to the face.

A Manhattan drop and short-arm clothesline taking care of Colten, he again went after Austin, a second short-arm missing, Austin looking for a leglock, Dax fighting it off several times then bagging two via inside cradle.

You certainly wouldn’t know FTR might be leaving judging by this crowd.  Who remain almost silent.

Looking for a bodyslam, Austin was intercepted by a dropkick off the top from Wheeler, allowing Dax to bag another two count.  This do-or-die match so important they ran through both of Friday’s cards as FTR’s fate hung in the balance.

A blind tag brought Dax in, spike piledriver, Austin kicked out.  Readying the Big Rig, Colten broke it up, the Gunns looked for their own which Cash disrupted, into the Shatter Machine as Excalibur called it, Colten blatantly interrupted the pin from the outside, seeking a DQ.

Paul Turner allowed the match to continue as Colten flung Cash into the ringpost.  Then collided with Dax from the apron, allowing Austin to bag a two count.  Waving bye-bye, Austin readied a Pedigree, even mimicking HHH; Dax freed himself to get two via backslide.

Until Austin hit a deliberate low blow right in front of the ref in another attempt to get a DQ (was it ever stated that FTR must win the titles to keep their jobs?  All I remember is that they have to win the match).

Cash stopped the ref calling for the DQ then ate the Gunns’ 3:10 to Yuma.  Dax fought-off Austin, the ref intercepted the first belt being thrown in but not the second, Austin striking Dax with it as he came off the top via diving headbutt.  Only for Dax to kick out, the crowd finally awake, albeit briefly.

The Gunns stood over Harwood as he spat up at both, fought out of the 3:10 to Yuma; both of FTR got sunset flips to pin both Gunns at the same time.

Started decently before the break, thereafter just a mess of ridiculous booking.  The crowd groaning at the company possibly allowing a BS finish is not the same as heel heat.

Winner: FTR

_________________________________________________________________________

Next Rampage:

• Anna Jay vs Julia Hart
• Hook vs Ethan Page, FTW Title rematch (they even had Hardy in Page’s corner in the graphic)
• Jade Cargill & Taya Face-to-Face
• The Acclaimed & 2.0 in 8-man action
• Swerve Strickland with a ‘Major Announcement’ (Sure…)
• Darby Allin vs Lee Moriarty

Battle of the Belts:

• Orange Cassidy vs Dralistico , International Title
• Jade Cargill vs Billie Starks, TBS Title
• Lucha Bros vs Will Hobbs & QT Marshall, ROH Tag Titles

Next Dynamite:

• Chris Jericho vs Keith Lee – presumably?  It was never confirmed

 

Thumbs Up/Down

• HOB vs Best Friends
• Jay White came across as a big star in his debut; the announcers added to this
• Hayter vs Riho

 *****

• Nothing announced ahead of time said must see
• Barely any emphasis all show on this possibly being FTR’s last night in the company
• A crowd which didn’t see many performers as stars
• Main event aside, match outcomes were very predictable
• The whole show felt flat and very little here was fun or ‘feel good’
• No Omega & no explanation as to why

 

Appreciate you reading.  Have a good week.