Arena: HEB Center
City: Cedar Park, Texas

It’s Saturday morning, and you know what that means…  it’s time for our Rampage Review!

LANCE ARCHER VS DUSTIN RHODES

Story going in: Archer crushed Rhodes when they met previously 2 years ago

According to Excalibur this was a ‘grudge match’ with ‘so much animosity’ dating back two years.  So much animosity that the two have managed to avoid a confrontation for the entirety of that two years.  Don’t treat your audience like idiots.

Archer came to the ring beating on one of Rhodes’ students.  Speaking of things that are overdone, Rhodes was already bleeding as the match-proper started.  By which point Lambert had already tried to interfere and Archer was completely in control.

Removing the turnbuckle pad to chants of ‘Let’s go Dustin’, Archer hit a splash out of the corner for an early two, shrugging off a couple of his opponent’s strikes with a big boot that pressed Dustin all the way into the mat.

Firing up as we returned from an early break, Dustin staggered the big man with a couple of clotheslines along with his classic drop-down uppercut.  Easily reversing a snap powerslam into a belly-to-belly, the Murderhawk Monster regained the upper hand but missed on a splash in the corner.

Capitalising, Dustin struck and chopped before scaling Archer for ten of the best in the corner, culminating in a bulldog off the top and a Cross Rhodes for two.  Reversing a suplex into one of his own, Lance hit a full-nelson slam, a chokeslam and set Rhodes up for the Blackout.  Literally collapsing out of it, Dustin slumped to the floor as Archer eyed the turnbuckle he’d earlier unraveled.

Lulling Lance, Rhodes quickly introduced the big man to the ‘buckle, following up with a quick jackknife pin for the win in his hometown.  Post decision, Lance destroyed the former Goldust and any who dared help the veteran, chokeslamming the vet. through a table.

Several months in there’s still no explanation of the Archer/Lambert pairing.

Even more of a mystery is the decision to have Archer lose to a 50+ year old.  Remember how cool this guy was two years ago?

WINNER: DUSTIN

Jay Lethal interview.  In his only two losses, Starks and Cole cheated to win.  Yet they’re getting opportunities he’s not.  ‘Got to be a better way.’

A popular Fuego del Sol called out the House.  Doesn’t he know Black eclipses the Sun?  After obliterating the skinny Texan, Malakai and co. had a staredown with the Dark Order.  Later, H.O.B. vs Fuego, Uno & Grayson was announced for next Friday.

Hard to see how this helps anyone.  Entertaining as he is, associating with Fuego reinforces the Order’s role as the ‘Job Squad’, while anything other than a dominating squash by the House lowers them to their opponents’ level.  Wyatts/Shield this is not.

AEW Lam-page continued as we were joined by Lambert and the Men of the Year.  The TNT title open challenge is now closed.  ‘Sky-vinci code’ – eugh.

ALAN ‘5’ ANGELS & PRESTON ‘10’ VANCE VS reDragon

Story going in: The Dark Order became entangled in Cole & co.’s feud with Hangman

This was very rushed.

reDragon isolated Five in their corner with kicks and strikes before he broke out for the earliest hot-tag you may have ever seen.  Dominating with power-moves, Ten came off the middle rope with a double shoulder block through both men as the adverts descended.

Dragging both Fish and O’Reilly, Vance tagged in Angels as we came back.  The best part of the match, Angels flew around with clotheslines and a leg-lariat until the bad guys cheated, twisting 10’s mask around, the pair hit a high-low before Angels succumbed to Chasing the Dragon and was pinned by Fish.

Jurassic Express rescued the Dark Order from a continued beatdown.  As they did, Adam Cole took the opportunity to snatch the tag belts, to go along with Hangman’s world title.

WINNER: reDragon

Very good Nyla Rose promo – it was her intention to disrespect Rosa on Wednesday.

NYLA ROSE VS MADI WRENKOWSKI

Story going in: Nyla attacked Thunder Rosa during her first appearance as champion, wants belt

In the same way Rick Bogner was no Scott Hall (R.I.P.), Nyla Rose is no Awesome Kong.  Meaning she comes across as ‘less than.’  Then AEW managed to reduce interest even further by adding a manager with a washed-up gimmick to complete the homage to the mid-2000s.

There aren’t many uses for a monster heel once they’ve been beaten: putting over the new champ is as good as any.  But man, wouldn’t it have been a good idea to begin building a contender before Rosa claimed the strap?  Or at least have them appear on TV in the current year?

After receiving Jericho’s ‘sports entertainer of the week’ for Wednesday’s run-in on Rosa, Nyla dispatched Wrenkowski with a pounce, senton, Beast Bomb.

We were informed that Madi is a student of Rosa.  Not only is this gimmick overdone, but if we’re simply ‘told’ this during the match, rather than being ‘shown’ it over at least a couple of weeks of buildup, it’s completely ineffective because there’s no connection between audience and character.

All in all, there’s no depth to this feud.

WINNER: NYLA

Next, it was time for the presentation: QT Marshall’s rarely gifted and much cherished Certificate of Accomplishment.  Hook provided Aaron Solow with an extreme closeup of the framed certificate (perhaps he’s short-sighted?), before leaving abruptly.

No doubting Hook’s popularity here, but on this night he was second to Danhausen, who cursed him on the ramp.  Hook simply continued on his way, the commentators explaining that Hook is impervious to curses.  These two should be kept about as far away from each other as is possible.

Among the announcements for Wednesday: a new female will be debuting against the Bunny. 

SWERVE STRICKLAND VS RICKY STARKS, FTW TITLE

Story going in: Starks & Hobbs feel threatened by the new guys

Good god these two are good.  The pre-match promo was wildly entertaining.  These are exactly the sort of guys AEW should be featuring: young, cool, underexposed, great on the mic and ‘oozing machismo’.

Ricky also had a new ‘entourage’ at the announce desk with a pro-Starks banner, as Taz explained: his cobbler, his barber and his nutritionist.  Taz is great.

So, this wasn’t one for the weak of cardio.  Starting on the mat it immediately quickened, Starks with a leapfrog-armdrag combo before pausing to pose.  For the benefit of those with flash-photography.  Or phones.

Not to be outdone, Strickland whipped Starks in before hitting his own leapfrog-dropkick, mocking Starks’ pose as Taz protested.  Taz is great.

Punches to the face followed, along with a leaping stomp before Swerve made the mistake of crashing into the middle ‘buckle – Starks moving at the last second – as the ads arrived.

Resuming with Swerve in the grip of an abdominal stretch, Strickland fought to his feet, flipped out of a backdrop before unleashing a blur of offence capped-off with a diving elbow to the back of the head.  A rolling, leaping flatliner saw a close two for the challenger.

Both grappling for control, Ricky went for the Roshambo but was sent packing to the outside, from where Swerve launched a running shooting-star off the apron to the floor.  Back inside, the pair exchanged roll-up two-counts, Starks returning Swerve to the ringside mats as he kicked out.

Mid- tope, Ricky was greeted by a punch to the face from the outside when, from out of nowhere, Swerve was crushed by Will Hobbs before quickly being thrown back in where Starks capitalised with the Roshambo for the ‘W’.

Post-match, Keith Lee cut the celebrations short, eviscerating the entourage before engaging in a wild brawl with Hobbs, Starks and Swerve to the soundtrack of ‘let them fight.’

AEW’s done a good job of immediately involving Strickland and Lee in something of import.  Plus, by mixing the smaller, charismatic talkers with the big boys, there’re a ton of possibilities going forward.

Should be fun.

WINNER: STARKS

Nothing special as a show but ended on a very high note with young, charismatic talent.  Fantastic crowd.

GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO WATCH…

• The Main Event

Random question to finish:  Blood & Guts…

• Jericho Appreciation Society vs Kingston, Santana, Ortiz &…
• or Cole, reDragon (& Jay White?) vs the Elite (& Hangman?)

Thanks for reading.  Have a great weekend!